Might never be a mother

I’m 34. I don’t have any intention at this point of entering a relationship only focusing on what I need to do on my own recovery for the time being.

But I realise it is highly likely I will never have kids and in my old age I could be alone and that person in the waiting room with no grandkids around her.

This saddens me.

Is it something to be sad about. I don’t know. For anyone here without kids. How do you deal. Is it good or bad ?

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I feel your pain, it is a sadness.

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I always knew i wanted 2 children and my wife was the same. We were blessed with twins…2 at once, and that was it!

But you can still have a fulfilling life without kids. My brother and older sister are childless and lead happy, productive lives. They also spoil my own children, and kind of think of them as their own sometimes.

Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. :slight_smile:

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You could adopt if you ever feel ready maybe? I personally don’t really want children I don’t think I could handle them. But I also get sad about it at times. Cause yes i do like the idea of passing on things to my children and a family seems nice.

But all in all I don’t think it’s an entirely bad thing to not have kids. There are plenty of other things to do with a life than raise children.

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I’m glad I don’t have kids and never want any. I guess when (if) I become old and grey I’ll be alone, but that could happen anyway even if I had my own family.

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I only had one child. My sister had 5!!!

My family still says (in a joking manner) that I tried to “steal” one of her sons. Looking back, I am sure it looked like that.

My own was an only child. I deeply regret not having a brother or sister for him to grow up with. (his favorite cousin was a nice substitute brother).

I know this sounds odd, but i cant help how i feel. And I feel like there was a mix up in what we call fate. I have always felt his cousin should have been in my family rather than hers. Crazy right? But i cant help it, he even fit in better with us than with his real family.

Dont be surprized, if in the future, you find a young family member who needs an additional mom or a mom period. Strange stuff happens, but i bet i am not the only one this feeling has ever happened to.

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I don’t feel bad about not having kids. Well biologically it would be possible for me to produce healthy children for another 2-3 years. But I’m nowhere near where I would need to be in my life for any relationship to be likely, let alone a serious one.

I’m not fit to be a parent. I can’t be responsible for a small human that can’t do anything for itself. Chances are I would never have the finances for it. But I don’t want to live a life where I always have to be watching out and paying attention to a child. I couldn’t do it.

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I had an older neighbor who never had kids. But she was kind to the neighborhood children, so we kind of adopted her as a grandma, and when she got sick, we took care of her. We had her over for family dinners and one of us always stayed with her when she was in the hospital. We miss her every day, now.

Just because you don’t have kids doesn’t mean nobody will want to care for you.

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Your family is such a great family because you even take care of your neighbors! Thumbs up for you!

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I have one child. I wish I could have two, although taking care of the only child always exhausted me.

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I had kids but my sister and aunt never did and they were content. Depends on the person and what they want. My sister who didn’t have kids spoiled her nieces and nephews and they love her. She is over 60 now and is generally pretty happy. By the way my aunt and sister didn’t get married till their 40’s.So yeah it’s possible to not be a mother and still have a happy, full life.

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It does make me sad to think that I’ll never have a significant relationship or children. But I’m nowhere near ready for all my challenges. I don’t have the means to support them either. I don’t know if it’s just the thought of removing a possibility from my life, or if it’d be the same if I was old and past my prime without kids or a wife.

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It doesn’t make me that sad. because of this illness I need a lot of downtime. Socializing and dating feels like a hard chore. I couldn’t have the energy to bring up children.

I am angry at SZ but I am accepting of not having a relationship or children, give me space lol

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I had a child at one time. I had a son. He died of suicide at the age of 30. He left me no grandchildren. Today, I am alone at almost 58 with no husband, kids or grandkids. I consider it a blessing. With my MI, there is no way I could raise grandkids. That would have been too much stress on me. My MI can’t take the stress of kids. I am sza. I could barely handle my one child when I was raising him by myself. It took absolutely everything out of me. I really struggled to excess. More so than a normie single parent would. Don’t get me wrong. I adored my child. But, it was very hard.

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Thanks for sharing your story, it puts things in perspective. I always picture things going swimmingly having a kid of my own, without factoring in that they’ll have a mind and ideas of their own. I’m so sorry about what happened to your son.

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Thank you @Coldcomfort.

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Im 41 and have no kids…in a way It can be a blssing…as God forbid but your child could be abducted by some evil scumbag…that would be just horrific

also you never know how kids turn out…they could turn out just awful who would betray their own mother

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I hear you, I’ve been infertile for over a year now, it’s possibly caused by the medication but no one is sure, I’ve struggled with such symptoms since 16, im 24 now. And I would love kids one day, it breaks my heart, my cousin has two and his wife is expecting a third, my aunts step daughter just had a baby and I wish I could be happy for them but actually it just upsets me. I feel envious that they can so easily get pregnant first and foremost and then carry and give birth without a breakdown worry. So I hear you, and as others have proven, you are not alone.

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Hi @Dante13
Haven’t seen you on here in a while.
Welcome Back :slight_smile:

Hi @Wave! Thanks for welcoming me back, just needed some understanding company! I know I can always come back and that there is old faces helps. Hope you are coping okay, no doubt will see you about!

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