I see no point in doing anything anymore. Everythings slowly killing me anyway. Even the nitrogen is killing me. Yea it might kill me more slowly then if i was suddenly placed on Jupiter but its still doing the job. And all i ever see from the world is what i see so why do anything. Y not get famous and shoot urself on stage just for the hell of it. I sure would. This is some comedic form of hell which is sad that we have a place of suffering but this is the version with clown makeup on.
It’s definitely not easy with this illness. I think that’s why people become so spiritual with it, to give them strength and remind them of a purpose beyond just this life. What are the things you feel give your life meaning beyond just the daily suffering? There is hope if you are willing to look at it.
Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional
-Buddha
Its definitely not an easy road we have to walk carrying the burden of this illness, and there are many times when the hill is far too steep. I just try and stay positive and keep one foot in front of the other. Progress is progress no matter how slow and cumbersome it might be. I figure Karma has got to come around eventually if i can weather the storm. Even tho i feel like i have been forgotten by Karma a good majority of the time. I just keep trying to move forward and take solace in the little pleasures and simple things. Every thing still sucks, just not all the time, so i revel in that fact and try to enjoy the sunshine when it decides to brighten my path, no matter how infrequent that may be.
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