šŸ§œšŸ¾šŸ¦– Lucky 13 - Say Anything 1ļøāƒ£3ļøāƒ£

I have therapy in about 30 minutes, so Iā€™ll be leaving soon. Probs will do the dishes an hour or so after I get home, then itā€™s time to chill until the bf gets off work. Maybe yay?

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Took .5 grams of Sodium Benzoate. Iā€™m also taking 4 grams of sarcosine. I wonder if thatā€™s too much?

I feel wired.

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Iā€™m sleepy. Cannot wait until bedtime tonight. Iā€™m going to go to bed early if I can.

I need to get curtains up in our bedroom. Well, Iā€™ll have to find them first. We still havenā€™t unpacked a lot of stuff. But with the time change next week I donā€™t want the sun coming in so early.

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i have to raise my gpa to get into the degree program Iā€™m pursuing.

I didnā€™t attend many classes when I was younger and wasted a couple thousand dollars, now its hurting my gpa. like I was too lazy to get out by the withdraw date.

fortunately I found an online community college that will be paid for by a vocational rehab program. ill never have to show up on campus I can do everything from home.

I may have to take 10 classes or so before I can transfer. which should take me a year fall spring and summer.

good news is its paid for by the government this time.

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This is how I look without makeup or glasses. I am having self image issues and they are worse without my glassesā€¦ But just felt like posting to share. You think it looks ok?

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You look great for no-makeup. I look pretty awful without makeup. But donā€™t worry too much. I donā€™t care about others opinion much anymore. I do what I like.

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I :heart: you all.

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I get so frustrated that i canā€™t seem to do anything to directly improve my life right now. My case worker said I should try to volunteer after support group is over and if my blood sugar issues become a problem, I can quit, since itā€™s volunteer, no worries.

Iā€™m concerned about the public transportation Iā€™d have to take if I worked. If I did find a friend or girlfriend, Iā€™d have to use them too. My experience with them is they are very unprofessional. One time they failed to come back to get me on a return trip and even after i called them they didnā€™t send anybody to come get me.

When I was signed up for college they failed to pick me up twice, and the lady on the phone said ā€œWe canā€™t guarantee you a ride.ā€ Then what is your freaking purpose!
IDK maybe they are better now but I doubt it. I think itā€™s a money issue because itā€™s government funded.
Either the drivers or the administrators arenā€™t paid enough to give a damn. Maybe both.
I mean this was almost 20 years ago though.

Sometimes I really hate this area. But I donā€™t have friends or too very helpful family members to help me go somewhere better. The entire county is bad.

Itā€™s too bad Uber is so expensive and also the local transportation that I have good experience with but is expensive. My insurance is paying for that for medical appointments. If the unreliable, cheap transportation were like that, my fears would definitely be settled.

I guess because of the depression Iā€™m always thinking ahead. Often about things that can go wrong. But that doesnā€™t mean they arenā€™t valid and thought out concerns.

I suppose i could bring my PlayStation Vita to work if I got a job, and if the van doesnā€™t pick me up I can play it until I can get home somehow. Thatā€™s if anybody is able and willing to.

Iā€™d prefer to work online but such jobs often arenā€™t easy to get.

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You look good. But I hope you have contacts and can see ok.

I can see the weight loss btw

So why you canā€™t use public transportation?

The public transportation I can afford is highly unreliable. Thatā€™s the one Iā€™m talking about in my post when I talk about being left behind and them not even bothering to send anyone after I called and other unprofessional crap. Itā€™s not like a bus that has stops, at least not where I live. For places nearer to where their based they have stops. But the have to come to your door here. So itā€™s not like if they donā€™t pick me up and donā€™t feel like correcting their mistake, that I can just wait for the next time a bus comes again.

Thereā€™s another one thatā€™s very good. My insurance pays for me to use them for medical appointments and thatā€™s itā€¦
For everything else theyā€™re very expensive. Like if my math is right over $30 for a round trip to a nearby town that has the most jobs in the county.

So in short I technically can and likely will. But in my experience, they suck, and I will likely deal with the same crap I did before.

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Itā€™s an exercise in patience, truly. Wow and wow and wow!!!

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You never posted a no makeup selfie but Iā€™m sure you would look great!

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I just came home, it is midnight and I just made some chamomile tea. I feel tired.

I will drink my tea, brush my teeth, apply my nighttime moisturizers and creams and sleep with a cold sleep mask on.

Tomorrow is a new day.

In the meantime, I will research some posing techniques for my Sunday photoshoot. I really need to nail these pictures to add it to my portfolio.

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@Ninjastar sorry to bother you but I am trying to update my profile pic and itā€™s not updating. I donā€™t know what happened.

The reason why I tagged you is because you are the only mod I spoke to once.

Sometimes it takes a few minutes to switch over. Or, if you like, you can post the picture here and I can change it for you.

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Done! As payment, I would like three pictures of fancy desserts, outer space, or cats.

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Wow!! that was quickā€¦ thanks for the express service. I am on the hunt for your paymentā€¦ stay tuned. :sweat_smile:

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