@LED it is more than just cheating because I don’t like him anymore. I wish I could leave him just like that too because he is not good for me. And, to be honest, I do not feel attracted to him often anymore. He keeps saying he wants a happy family and I thought he was a family guy but I am realizing it is words. He can barely care for himself. I wish we could somehow stay friends and I can continue to be a positive light in his life. I feel like I still love him, but mostly as a friend because of all the nights we spent just chilling by the tv. My true feelings are that if my old bf truly changed either through meds or therapy, I will give him another chance. But the way he is now scares me and turns me emotionally unavailable.
it is kinda messed up i ordered something online sunday and i got the tracking info, it was supposed to arrive today but it has said on the website “shipment recieved, package acceptance pending”,so i think it has been at the post office where it is coming from and they just took a long time to accept it and send it i dont know exactly, but now today it says it has been processed and is in transit to the destination, i was hoping it would come in today but now it will probably be some time next week
I am so tired. Been working non-stop.
It is friday, finally and it is almost 2:30 pm. I will still clean the apartment.
Going to the grocery store - happy!
I just cleaned up my apartment. Voluntarily. AGAIN.
What the heck is wrong with me.
I even feel good about it.
Picked up my bedroom a little bit and am washing the bedding,
Doing something has made me feel a little better,
BUT, now I’m super sore.
I have therapy in about 30 minutes, so I’ll be leaving soon. Probs will do the dishes an hour or so after I get home, then it’s time to chill until the bf gets off work. Maybe yay?
Took .5 grams of Sodium Benzoate. I’m also taking 4 grams of sarcosine. I wonder if that’s too much?
I feel wired.
I’m sleepy. Cannot wait until bedtime tonight. I’m going to go to bed early if I can.
I need to get curtains up in our bedroom. Well, I’ll have to find them first. We still haven’t unpacked a lot of stuff. But with the time change next week I don’t want the sun coming in so early.
i have to raise my gpa to get into the degree program I’m pursuing.
I didn’t attend many classes when I was younger and wasted a couple thousand dollars, now its hurting my gpa. like I was too lazy to get out by the withdraw date.
fortunately I found an online community college that will be paid for by a vocational rehab program. ill never have to show up on campus I can do everything from home.
I may have to take 10 classes or so before I can transfer. which should take me a year fall spring and summer.
good news is its paid for by the government this time.
This is how I look without makeup or glasses. I am having self image issues and they are worse without my glasses… But just felt like posting to share. You think it looks ok?
You look great for no-makeup. I look pretty awful without makeup. But don’t worry too much. I don’t care about others opinion much anymore. I do what I like.
I you all.
I get so frustrated that i can’t seem to do anything to directly improve my life right now. My case worker said I should try to volunteer after support group is over and if my blood sugar issues become a problem, I can quit, since it’s volunteer, no worries.
I’m concerned about the public transportation I’d have to take if I worked. If I did find a friend or girlfriend, I’d have to use them too. My experience with them is they are very unprofessional. One time they failed to come back to get me on a return trip and even after i called them they didn’t send anybody to come get me.
When I was signed up for college they failed to pick me up twice, and the lady on the phone said “We can’t guarantee you a ride.” Then what is your freaking purpose!
IDK maybe they are better now but I doubt it. I think it’s a money issue because it’s government funded.
Either the drivers or the administrators aren’t paid enough to give a damn. Maybe both.
I mean this was almost 20 years ago though.
Sometimes I really hate this area. But I don’t have friends or too very helpful family members to help me go somewhere better. The entire county is bad.
It’s too bad Uber is so expensive and also the local transportation that I have good experience with but is expensive. My insurance is paying for that for medical appointments. If the unreliable, cheap transportation were like that, my fears would definitely be settled.
I guess because of the depression I’m always thinking ahead. Often about things that can go wrong. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid and thought out concerns.
I suppose i could bring my PlayStation Vita to work if I got a job, and if the van doesn’t pick me up I can play it until I can get home somehow. That’s if anybody is able and willing to.
I’d prefer to work online but such jobs often aren’t easy to get.
You look good. But I hope you have contacts and can see ok.
I can see the weight loss btw
So why you can’t use public transportation?
The public transportation I can afford is highly unreliable. That’s the one I’m talking about in my post when I talk about being left behind and them not even bothering to send anyone after I called and other unprofessional crap. It’s not like a bus that has stops, at least not where I live. For places nearer to where their based they have stops. But the have to come to your door here. So it’s not like if they don’t pick me up and don’t feel like correcting their mistake, that I can just wait for the next time a bus comes again.
There’s another one that’s very good. My insurance pays for me to use them for medical appointments and that’s it…
For everything else they’re very expensive. Like if my math is right over $30 for a round trip to a nearby town that has the most jobs in the county.
So in short I technically can and likely will. But in my experience, they suck, and I will likely deal with the same crap I did before.
It’s an exercise in patience, truly. Wow and wow and wow!!!
You never posted a no makeup selfie but I’m sure you would look great!