Melatonin has set me back tonight

Medications
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First post. Recently, I had FEP after a weeks-long marijuana concentrate binge and a general adulthood of usage.

General ER administered Ativan which helped me sleep there and I was discharged with clanazepam rx which I have had before. I was considered too self aware for admittance which I suppose is a good thing.

Saw my psych 3 days later, took Seroquel 50mg to 100mg for 2 weeks with every extra-pyramidal side effect present which I attribute to my rapidly detoxing state since I dropped marijuana, caffeine and nicotine cold turkey after episode. She also rx’d more clonazepam prn.

I felt 100% free of psychosis but the severe side effects caused me to ditch Seroquel. I have been feeling overall pretty stable for the week and a half since then except of course with extreme insomnia and general anxiety that my life is 100% different now. I have some soft signs that are “manageable” for the time without meds. I am still undiagnosed but I feel I know. I mean hopefully I am wrong!

I developed a phobia of pills after the Seroquel side effects. I feel even the last time I took a quarter of a Kpin I experienced twitching eyelids which I am unsure if it was Seroquel detox or the Kpin itself. I have never had a bad experience with Kpin before the AP. I feel the AP really altered things as I was twitching for a 1.5 weeks after last dose. Finally today the twitching stopped 100% and my jaw un-clenched 100%.

I decided to try melatonin to help with sleep, despite my fears of anything psychoactive at this point. Well, once I could feel the effects I felt I was stuck in the phase between awake and sleep where my soft signs are the worst. Usually I start browsing the internet or watching Netflix to avoid the issue till I pass out from brute force sleepiness, but not now. I am lingering where it is the worst because of the melatonin. I am waiting out the general elimination time of 5 hours, about 3 hours in. I have a phobia of night time also now. Once it is around 7 pm my anxiety heightens as for me everything is worse at night and seems almost completely regressed by midday.

I was feeling so normal just 3.5 hours ago! If I only slept and hour but felt that normal it would be OK compared to this. I feel I took 3 steps back. My calves started twitching again but luckily they stopped. I cannot deal with that involuntary feeling, really it seems worse than anything going on in my head. Which scares me for what I may encounter in the future…

I may need a quarter of clonazepam tonight which frightens me since I just got over any and all detox twitching earlier today. All the anxiety surrounding everything has caused me to start constantly putting my hand to my lips in a nervous way which is a new general annoying thing, and rubbing my hand over my shaved head stubble. I usually write long posts, so thanks for reading.

Please feel free to comment and share anything you’d like. Nice to meet you all.

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Hi welcome to the forum. Never a good idea to stop psych meds abruptly. Does your psych know? Pot can give you psychosis all of it’s own and it’s wise to avoid it and other streets. If you get side effects let your doc know. Trying to deal with these sorts of issues going solo usually isn’t a good idea.

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My doc knows I’m off. I am supposed to be on Gabapentin daily but I fear any association to anything that affects my nerves now. I’ve taken Gabapentin in the past but, again, after Seraquel I just don’t trust anything. She was dismissive of my side effects and I had to insist that I need to be off it because I feared permanent movement disorders. I explained my tongue went numb the first night, and I was gnawing on it a few days into treatment which seem to be huge red flags and my heart felt like it was skipping beats pretty intensely plus hyperglycemia episodes. She discounted most of my concerns. She was hesitant but agreed I was outwardly stable. I know she is there to help but I am going to look elsewhere to someone who maybe pretends better to have open ears.

Also, I’m off pot now but fear damage is done. Only time will tell. Thanks for fast reply. Anyone with more experience please don’t hesitate to assuage my fears if you’ve been where I am.

As far as tonight with the melatonin it’s coming on 5 hours since ingestion and things seem better. I really feared the twitches flaring up again. Scary stuff being new to this.

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There’s a pretty good percentage of people who recover from first episode psychosis and don’t need the meds again. As I said. Weed is it’s own issue and stopping the streets will do you well. Most folks around here are multi episodic or just unlucky. For us we have to take meds for life or till better treatments or cure. Keep in mind we are a pro medications website. Meds work for most of us but we still have issues…

Again. Welcome. It’s a good bunch of peeps and you’ll find that for most that diagnosis often changes over time. It’s very common.

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An update: I slept for almost 5 hours which is a good improvement but now I feel like my mind is intoxicated. I’m a bit loopy and my legs are twitching but it seems like it is from anxiety rather then a chemical issue but I can’t really tell. In fact, I’m trembling now a bit as a write this and am realizing how I actually feel, doped up. I took 1.5 mg thinking that was low cause I cut the pill in half. Then I come across literature regarding low dosage actually being around 1/5 a mg and up from there.

I wish I didn’t take the melatonin. I could’ve slept 4 - 5 hours like this without the need to feel altered and scared. I have ptsd symptoms to the FEP so it’s hard to think straight about it. This drowsy feeling is reminding me too much of pot and scaring me. I was high during my FEP, a little more than a month ago.

I’ve been up for 20 minutes and usually I would feel decent enough to already be making breakfast and getting my dog ready for a walk but I felt the need to come on here for cathartic solace. I know I can do those things I just want this “flash back” drowsiness to wear off. I’ll update this post later. It’s 5 AM here right now and the sun is coming up.

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Update 2: After a walk with my dog in the dawn’s light I can see I woke up to a severe panic attack.

I was not expecting melatonin to have such a drastic effect. The flashbacks of intoxication brought me back to the last time I got high which is when I experienced FEP about 40 days ago. You can imagine the triggering from there.

I’m a anxious person by nature and the trauma is still so fresh, especially after the Seraquel. In the past few days of detox I thought the effects of Seraquel were worse than the symptoms it was treating. My delicate brain is still finding its way home from chronic substance abuse and now horrible AP effects, and a month of prescribed daily benzo use. I need to remember that…

I feel good right now and I will cherish every moment. Thanks for reading.

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Give me weird Dreams melatonin 151515

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