Meditative Illness

My attempts at meditation broke down this morning, so I went and got breakfast instead. I think I will also forego going to the Sangha this morning. I had reached the first stage of meditative absorption, or the first jhana in my meditation, after meditating for about two years. I just gave up. My meditations were becoming overwhelmingly strong, filled with SZ ideas. My mind is a schizophrenic mind, not a normal mind. The teacher refers to “The Mind” and “The Body”. I’m afraid I will have to refer to it as “My Mind” and “The Body.” Anybody have similar experiences with Buddhist meditation?

I’m no math whiz, but it seemed like math came easier to me when I meditated. I was also drinking very little coffee then, too.

i never ever meditated in psychotic stage…
can u guys meditate…???

To me it sounds like you might benefit from meditating without guidance or structure; I know I do. And yes, whenever I practiced meditation within groups or attempted to follow a predetermined regime alone, my sense of isolation and abnormality would typically increase and I never achieved a meditative state of mind at all in such a setting.

Strip all expectation from the process. If you are trying to “get somewhere”, you are already going nowhere.

I use the principle of mantra based meditation, but rather than chant, I focus on my in and out breathes and simply allow them to sound as they do naturally, however, I interpret each sound as a word with no meaning. In and out breathes are no longer breathes, but the sound of words from a subconscious language devoid of meaning.The words might change, they might not. Just listen to them as though you are not the speaker. Hear them, allow them to live their own life and just observe. You don’t want to understand - there is nothing to understand - just enjoy bearing witness to them as they ebb and flow at their own will.

By the time you realise you tuned out your breaths, you will have already succeeded in reaching and maintaining a meditative state for enough time to have benefited.

1 Like

I used to meditate heavily as a teenager, and I’m convinced it did me more harm than good. I not sure meditation and schizophrenia mix.


I strongly hate meditation now…:alien:

I have experienced both positive and negative effects from meditation and am not sure whether it’s healthy for me to continue.