I think I’ve just been hugely paranoid of psychotropic meds for so long…I was raised in a family that constantly preached their evils…and my first experience w meds was not good. But I decided to try again and I don’t regret it at all…medication is starting to open my eyes to how disturbing and nightmarish my idea of “normal” was. It is allowing me to start to experience what actual normality may be like. Between the Zoloft and the Ativan my PTSD symptoms have become MUCH more manageable. My nights are finally peaceful and even though I’m drowsy during the day I’m not constantly on defense mode and worried about what or who is going to try to hurt me. I’m not experiencing those jolts of rage and aggression as much. Haven’t experienced a single instance of that at all since raising the Zoloft dosage actually.
Now that I am beginning to realize how much medication can improve my quality of life I finally feel comfortable enough to start antipsychotics. I don’t think I could fully accept I had mental illness until I saw how much medication improved things for me. I’m probably going to start Abilify when I see my therapist next. (PS for anyone who knows, do you stay on your antidepressant and antipsychotic at the same time? Zoloft is working and I don’t want to quit it)
Anyways people on here that know me know I’ve been diehard try to make it without medication for a long time. To anyone else out there like me, DON’T put yourself through that hell. I was living a MISERABLE life. Sure I could do it, but I was only SURVIVING and was not LIVING. Please, please, please give meds a chance. To anyone who is starting meds or is having bad experiences with them like I did originally, stick with it because there are so many different options and even if beginning side effects are bad, that next med could be the one that gives you your life back.
I decided that I would rather have to take medication for the rest of my life than either live a lifetime of suffering, or not have a life at all because I killed myself during an episode. Please take help where it is offered. I stopped accepting a life that I couldn’t enjoy and decided to do whatever it took to make life something that I could. I am still getting there but already my future is looking so much brighter now that my PTSD is getting under control. I urge all of you wonderful people to do what is best for your health and quality of life as well. That’s my spiel for tonight, thanks for reading guys and gals