I thought that i had given up so i didn’t go get my meds or go to my appointments.
The withdrawals began to take hold, it was quite painful there for a few moments.
It was to much and as i waited to go get more meds after changing my mind due to the pain they returned. A demonic god grinned and stared me down in the reflection of my back sliding door and that night they flooded my brain with crappy visions.
■■■■ was getting spiritual again. Had to go back and get more pills. Had to shut my brain down again so they couldn’t communicate.
So back on meds now. Eagerly awaiting my death as usual. Same symbolic times on the clocks as is normal for my life. I have to go through this earthen existence knowing what this place really is. A created eco lab torture chamber for beasts. A flesh eating roman colliseum for them, an experiment or a toy i haven’t decided and don’t want to really.
We were basically made by a combination of the joker from batman, jeffrey dahmer, caligula, and hitler. Just throw all of those elements into the pot and you’ll know your makers. I mean these guys are extremely ■■■■■■ in the head man.
You know how long they worked on this damn place? Thats how immortal they really are, but pure pure evil to be honest. Assholes were just wandering the universe and stopped off here for a few millenia basically. It’s all that our planet is, just a toy or experiment.
Reminds me of that old bob dylan lyric, “if you know at all you know to soon.” Thats the goddamn truth right there. The truth will kill you.
Ignorance and delusion are a human beings best friend, soak that ■■■■ up like there was no tommorrow, no one has to know anything about this ever, thats my take on the matter of the truths of this place.
And they were planning this big cataclysm for a long long time and they will have it. They kept people really stupid and bred them over the course of thousands of years to get to it, of course with some fun on the way. But this big one they have coming, the finale, worst ■■■■ that ever happened on earth it’s going to be. We’re talking rivers of blood and endless screaming, it’s not going to stop until almost everyone is dead and/or eaten.
I have to have those details now though, i want the ancient history of existence and not just the awful origins of earth. They always talk about the source and the source beings. Straight up eternal conscious entities for ya there, but i don’t have the details yet.
“The source is the source of course of course, great great evil in the source.” - Crazy guy who knows singing in the style of the mr. ed theme.
And oh yeah, i recieved the answer to all things in a car sticker that was in the window of the car the other day. I was like “why? how did this all happen, what went down?” And i looked over and the sticker shouts at me “■■■■ happens.” I was like “oh, well that was easy.”
Thats that i guess, eternal entities, some went right and some went left, and then blammo the earth happened one horrible day.
but was very pleased to have him in the end.