I don’t really feel bad about it…back when I was still engaged I asked my dad if he would help with procuring rings. $200 is what I asked for…he just got done spending tens of thousands on his daughter, my sister from his new marriage…he said no and we started texting in arguement…he basically said “I could do something for money”. that set me off…he doesn’t understand that I am terrified of the public and could never work…he is wealthy…a multi millionaire and now I probably won’t get his annual Christmas present of $300. sets me back but I am still mad at him for thinking I should work…am I in the wrong?
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He just doesn’t understand.
He’s got money that I’m sure he’s worked hard for, so its unimaginable for him to think someone in need can’t work.
To him, its a “won’t work” and it pisses him off, which pisses you off because you know he’s wrong.
Its a misunderstanding and I’d be upset too.
With my mom, a lot of times I just have to be like “she doesn’t get it and she won’t” and just bend to her understanding or drop it.
Looks like you’ve reached a similar impasse.
If it were me (and I love arguing and being combative, so it really hurts my very soul to do this) I’d issue an apology.
You’ve done nothing wrong, its just the way it has to be with parents that aren’t going to get it.
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No way! You’re doing what you need to survive or as the case is not doing what you need to not do to survive.
Also,
When I was pregnant and separating from my husband, my parents lost their absolute shit),
They couldn’t understand the decisions I was making or why I was in the situation I was.
It was a terrible time, we fought constantly.
Eventually I just had to decide whether or not I wanted to cut them off and be done or be the bigger person.
You may be at that point, too.
Where you know you’re right but you still have to apologize for the good of the tribe so to say.
Could be his way of saying he believes in you! Sounds a lot like my dad. Best of luck
About a week ago I told him I was sorry and that I still loved him…no answer…he likes it when we fight especially when his silence keeps him from having to give me Christmas money…he’s so greedy !!
Well, there it is.
I guess the better question now is,
Do you really want to mend this relationship?
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Actually? No. He can have his precious money. I was closer to my step dad than my dad and my step dad died two years ago. I have my mom and that’s enough for me…
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Sounds like you’re not going to get the $300 anyway,
Plus he’s giving you constant grief.
Maybe just give him the silent treatment and let it go?
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yes @anon54386108 that is my intentions…better off just being silent than drag on feeling down because my dad loves his daughters better than me…thank you for all your support on this subject.
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I’m sorry this happened to you. No person who hasn’t had sz could understand how it affects us.
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The only reason he spent money on his new daughter is because it makes him look good. He doesn’t actually care about her.
Juke,
As the wise old @martinhersey1 once told me…
“Endorse yourself for knowing your limitations”
Sometimes I feel badly as I’m only able to work part-time. My wife’s family aren’t too pleased although they’ve never said anything…but I can just tell.
Don’t let a disagreement with your father spoil Christmas for you. Don’t obsess over it…relax and enjoy the spirit of the Season1 
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