Marriage...why so hard even if you are still single?

Its hard for me when i think about marriage. I feel pressured and constricted. I feel i loose my freedom when i marry. Marriage is basically the worst thing ever.

But…marriage is unconditional love. The greatest power in the universe.

When i marry i dont get “gifts” from my lover(s). My only lover would be my husband and all he has to give me are orders and obligations.

I could just not marry…

My lovers would be so generous towards me…giving me attention…till the time is up and i find myself all alone again.


I can’t agree with you even though i’m still single.

Does that mean that unconditonal love is the worst thing ever?

I think the best things in life feel like the worst things.

I’m single so i don’t care about unconditional love. And marriage is not the worst thing.


Well, you don’t necessarily get unconditional love. Actually, I’m not sure that’s possible. My thinking is kind of similar to yours in some ways. But I would mainly be worried that it would be an abusive marriage that would make me miserable. I would also be worried that I cannot live up to standards, especially financial. I think my limit is probably working part time. It would take a sweet woman who loves me a lot to want to be with me long term despite that. I don’t know how many women like that there are in this area. Not many.

Im thinking marriage is something more than how many hours you work.

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Your absolutely right. What I meant was, it would take someone like that, sweet and loves me very much, to get there. Uncommonly so.

I have been told that finances matter a lot. It’s one thing when a guy works full time and his job doesn’t pay all that much, but when a guy works part time and he can’t do much better than live ok by himself…

I totally believe this. I’m perfectly happy in my single state. Whereas, my ex husband is desperate for a mate. Women are especially happy in a single state when they get up in years.

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I don’t think there are many women that are happier than me being single. :slight_smile:


I fight myself on if I want to be married. Being tied down to one person to the point I have to go to court to be free of them bothers me. I’ve been told by others my personality is just not conducive to longterm relationships and have discovered I cannot live with partners without at least a room to escape to to get away from them occasionally. I begin to hate a person if I spend too much time around them.

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I hated being single. Love my wife unconditionally. But hate that people pressure singles to marry . I think it’s perfectly ok to be single. But not for me. I do feel some sadness for some singles that seem they would be happier married but don’t get hooked up.

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I think marriage is pointless unless there are children involved. Not to throw shade on people who would like the idea of being married, but a contractual relationship is bound to cause strife. The introduction of children to the equation changes things though, it becomes more about them than the couple. I think having two parents living together, as long as their relationship is reasonably functional, is beneficial to kids. I say this as someone whose folks were separated at a young age.

I’m divorced and content to be single.
Relationships are hard work.
My marriage destabilized me, it was torture after a while.

I’m sorry but my mental health comes first.

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Im just dreaming of being in a well working marriage where…

  1. I like my husband
  2. We invent new ways of living and doing stuff.
  3. We married because we got a realistic vision that spending our lives together is the only right way.
  4. Our marriage is based on a logical concept…a thought that doesnt change in time.
  5. We never fight or have adisagrement cause we are made in a way where our paths dont crushinto eachother. We are bothdoing our own thing and we dont bother the other with that.
  6. Basically there is nothing i hate in my husband.

When life gets so hard that its becoming fatal like then the best thing is to marry. Even if you dont like the person you are marrying. But he will keep you alive if you tolerate his s**t.

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I like my marriage but that’s because of who I’m married to. Marrying someone just to get married sounds rather horrifying to me. I wouldn’t do it.

When you get married, you join bodies with that person. I would recommend either being healthy or being with someone equal to or more experienced than you with how you feel and what you’re going through. Compassion and health are very important.

I’m divorced and perfectly content to be single. I was married to a sadistic man and my marriage was pure torture for nine years. I’m glad I’m not married anymore. I’m sure my marriage had something to do with my mental breakdown. That and genetics.