hey ya. im just wondering who out there has a partner or wife/husband . i was talking to my cpn and she said i may never trust anyone enough to have a partner. how do you all manage?
That is the kind of thing you should just plain ignore. Mental health workers love to predict the future but they don’t know what’s going to happen. Don’t let them pigeon-hole you.
When I was a kid I saw my records one day. A psychologist had written that I hated women and would never get married. This was when I was like 15 years old. While I still haven’t been married, I have had satisfying relationships with women and am currently in a long term relationship with a wonderful woman. Basically, he was full of ■■■■.
I’m married for two years. We’ve managed ok over this time, but it hasn’t been easy. I have SZ and borderline personality, and my husband has epilepsy, so we are both ill and lean on each other. We do everything together, we manage like that. We trust each other as we grew closer, and it’s not easy sometimes, but we keep that trust and just keep on forgiving each other when we fight. I used to cut myself sometimes, and when my husband found out he was sad, that helped me to stop doing it. The last time I cut myself he made me promise I would not ever cut again, which was hard, but I am trying to honour that by using alternative methods to inflict pain on myself, like snapping an elastic band on my wrist, or punching the couch. He is very supportive when I am sick and when he has a seizure, I look after him and support him. It’s all about working together and co-operating, a give and take. And also sticking to our meds and treatment programs.
First I had to stabilize and learn to trust again… not just others, but trust myself as well.
I had to sort of get to know my lucid/ stable self a bit more… then it started happening.
Plus… my girlfriend and I really did start off with no intention of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. We were just having a nice time as plutonic friends… and then things started to grow.
I have a partner. She is the love of my life. Trust is hard and something we continue to work on.
Trust is a difficult thing for me, sometimes I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, or just using me for sex and laughing at me behind my back, but I manage to stave off those feelings. I just remind myself that he loves me and would never try to hurt me (unless I want him to ;)). Most of the time I can talk myself down. The big thing is communication. I tell him when I have these feelings, and we discuss it openly. He reassures me, and hugs me, and if I have to cry, I do, and he just lets me get it all out. I definitely trust him, but sometimes the bad thoughts come creeping in and he has to comfort me until they go away.
@sasha,you can inspire people who would love to have a partner in this forun
I am not really sure how to go about doing that.
i don’t think i will find anybody else but i remain hopeful
I fell madly in love at the tender age of 14.
Do I have a partner? Am I married? No. I fell madly in love at the age of 14.
You have talked so fondly about your friend Sweep. I have always thought that maybe you and she might become more then friends.
A lot of psychiatrists and psychologists have god complexes.
she is my ex, we were together as a couple for about 8 yrs but last two years we are just friends, the biggest problem was age as there is 15 yrs between us and we can’t have kids either which i was hoping for we still see each other all the time tho but we have separate homes.
Trust was an issue on both parts. We have wonderful memories and horrible ones. We learned to cherish the good and overcome the evil, we learned to lean on each other.
Today a woman was oggling my husband like crazy, I realised he was interested in her too. We were in a supermarket. I simply took him by the hand and moved him forward to another checkout than the one where that woman was. When he realised why I did it he started to laugh and got all red and clumsy, then he admitted half-hartedly having been interested in her too. But it was funny. We’ve gotten to the point where he stopped being gelous of me being bisexual and I’ve realised it’s normal for him to be interested in other women too. We make jokes about it. We have a good time.
Maybe one day he’ll cheat on me. I hope not. If he does, I’ll probably have a breakdown. But I don’t know and don’t want to think about it. If it ever happens, I’ll see how I feel about it. Right now, I trust him because I know he loves me, because we have 2 years of marriage now and because our son needs us to trust each other. Moreover, I trust him because he tries so hard to trust me, even though I can have a psychosis at any time, and it’s sooo hard for him.
What Malvok said. All the things I was told I couldn’t do, I’m doing. That includes education, work, a wonderful wife, and an awesome kid. Health workers think along the lines of ‘lowest common denominator’. Maybe 1 in 1000 people fit that bill. The rest can expect greatness.