Mania with delusions of grandeur

well , were you aware that what was happening is not real? Or did someone have to tell you that what your experiencing is not real.

If you are aware, then you have insight.

my first episode went on for months and became very extreme. Highly religious delusion and hallucination oriented as well.

My parents didn’t know what to do, they called there pastor over to the house at 4am. they locked me in my room while they figured out what to do with me. I woke up the next day was still totally unaware anything was wrong. family was crying and I was just smiling saying they were being healed.

The pastor said he thought I was having symptoms of bipolar disorder and to go to a psychiatrist.

My dad almost took me to the mental hospital. but then I ‘snapped out of it’ and told them it was satan that I was hearing now instead of god. so that was good enough for them to not take me there.

my hallucinations persisted for months after that with only insight thinking it was the devil trying to talk to me.

I would hear god, jesus, the father, the spirit etc… whatever the voices chose to be. but I believed it was all real at the time. I even lost my entire identity at one point and ‘jesus’ took over me. my personality morphed into him. Then id revert back to myself, then id change back to jesus.

it was seriously messed up. psychosis in general is messed up.

Didnt go to a psychiatrist till a year after that.

Soooo if your having symptoms and its messing up your life, get to a doctor and see what they can do for you.


one manic reaction i had several times was I would see rainbows around people I knew, and I got so excited i jumped up in the air so high i smoked my head on the ceiling lol. I would see rainbows around people and thought they were being healed.
Then Id see these light shadow figures and dark shadow figures, light being angels dark being demons yada yada yada

its all jelly beans. non sense

from reading your post in more detail. It seems to me like your more on an exploratory adventure with religion and mysticism.
maybe your mind is a little more pliable in that what you read about can more easily be made real to you.

for example.

one time I read about being able to talk to parts of your body and it would answer to you what it was feeling. Then you could heal that part.

Well I would ask my arms or legs if they could talk what would they say. well they would tell me what they were feeling.

That was before I had insight I was ill though.

The mind is a strange thing.

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