Went on cleaning frenzy today. Declared my mat in lounge disgusting and got my husband to agree for me to swap it with better kitchen one and have none in kitchen as it gets dirty so easy there and with carpet in kitchen it makes me not clean floor so much. And cleaned sink and dishrack and feel so much better! I want to do more but … Ok… Let’s say this, I cleaned with a mission to destroy the dirt and muck and ha! it’s gone and it makes me feel sooo good! Destroy clutter and filth! Organise, declutter. Get rid of things. Just destroy the dirt.
I’m cheerful with my husband, feel over flirty with him, call him too much endearments, can’t stop with it, just want to laugh. Why do I always feel so hyper at night? Alright though as my haloperidol and mood stabilizer dose is due and the haloperidol is a mellowing pill, makes me tired. Not happyperidol lol but mellowperidol weirdo me.
Is this mania?
Then when I had to pray with my husband and he said some supplications and I said some of my own I started speaking gibberish again all foreign. Oh my god I’m Muslim and I’m speaking in tongues? My Pentecostal mom is probably trying to manipulate my mind to do that. She want to change me and control me. Or is the evil spirit in my head having a laugh? I’m so ■■■■■■ up!!!
Whatever the ■■■■ is happening? Is this psychosis?
Am I manic or psychotic or wtf? After all these years of sza I still get confused
That’s terrible advice. They could end up in the hospital if they leave the symptoms unchecked. Being manic is dangerous. Being manic AND psychotic is even more dangerous!
Thanks @Blossom the haloperidol has made me feel ready for bed. It’s not even 10pm but I’m mellow and … Ok I guess… It always comes later in day for most days but I don’t know what it is. Thanks for your input!
I know, I have ended up in hospital more than once myself. I still believe we have the right to enjoy our uptime without pathologising it. I’m not saying it’s not good to stay in control of an episode – it absolutely is – but I think there is often too much zeal to stamp out what could be the best times of a person’s life. If there was a choice not to experience either depression or mania, I would take it. Given that I cannot opt out from depression, I’d prefer not to opt out from what might be my only time of relief from it.
@LilyoftheValley what’s the difference between tongues and word salad? I hope it’s not tongues as I’m not christian, if it is then my mom is manipulating me this is scary. I just talk gibberish when my brain let’s go and goes all mixed up. It’s happened twice or thrice in last month
