It’s so weird, I could have SWORN there was a new topic with that title that just popped up. But it’s not there now. Mental glitch. So I guess I’ll give it a try…
First off… being med compliant helps manage the voices… But on tired days… the defense shields are weak.
The logical voice like the good doctor I will accidently agree with out loud in the middle of a conversation. But the observer, the hypnotist, the little girl, and the panic man I try to ignore.
I find I do answer some of them. I hate it when I’m trying to listen to my family member and the panic man is just running around like that “Lost in Space” robot, waving his arms and frantically shouting out, “danger, there’s danger… Oh man, we’re going to die. It’s all danger, danger… danger…”
Eventually I do say out loud… “Will you just SHUT IT!” Then I hear that my family member has stopped talking too. I hate looking at them when that happens. I’m always afraid they are going to look sad. But my closer family just looks patient.
(kid sis is excluded, she’s used to this and it doesn’t phase her, she knows my voices well before I start shouting out loud. She says I’ll shut one eye, look at the ground and begin to rock. She’ll just sit with me, no talking and she’ll hold my hand.)
Around other family and non-family… I then just take a breath, get brave and tell them… “Not you, them. I’m telling them. They’re getting rowdy up there”
My closer family knows what that means. It’s usually at night when this happens so it’s usually med time too. I’m getting used to using this as a cue.
I’ve been trying to be more open about stuff like this with other family and the two non-family people who are in my life… (my returning friend and my plant killing neighbor)
For me… coping is not just telling people I have Sz. It’s not running away when little stuff like this happens. It’s hard. But I’m working on it. I hate it and I get embarrassed. But I can’t keep running away. I used to use smoking as an excuse to go outside during family meals when my voices got too much. But now that I’m quitting smoking, I’m loosing that excuse.
At work, I excuse myself and say "I left the plans in the truck or I left the notes in the truck… I go to the truck and yell at my voices there. Then I take a xanax and come back and ask people to e-mail me or write it down. People are busy and they like not having to have long conversations about stuff.
This is NOT every single day of my life, sort of thing. It’s been getting less as time goes on.
But I was wondering… What do others do when the voices want to amp up?