Managing the voices

Health and Recovery
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It’s so weird, I could have SWORN there was a new topic with that title that just popped up. But it’s not there now. Mental glitch. So I guess I’ll give it a try…

First off… being med compliant helps manage the voices… But on tired days… the defense shields are weak.

The logical voice like the good doctor I will accidently agree with out loud in the middle of a conversation. But the observer, the hypnotist, the little girl, and the panic man I try to ignore.

I find I do answer some of them. I hate it when I’m trying to listen to my family member and the panic man is just running around like that “Lost in Space” robot, waving his arms and frantically shouting out, “danger, there’s danger… Oh man, we’re going to die. It’s all danger, danger… danger…”

Eventually I do say out loud… “Will you just SHUT IT!” Then I hear that my family member has stopped talking too. I hate looking at them when that happens. I’m always afraid they are going to look sad. But my closer family just looks patient.

(kid sis is excluded, she’s used to this and it doesn’t phase her, she knows my voices well before I start shouting out loud. She says I’ll shut one eye, look at the ground and begin to rock. She’ll just sit with me, no talking and she’ll hold my hand.)

Around other family and non-family… I then just take a breath, get brave and tell them… “Not you, them. I’m telling them. They’re getting rowdy up there”

My closer family knows what that means. It’s usually at night when this happens so it’s usually med time too. I’m getting used to using this as a cue.

I’ve been trying to be more open about stuff like this with other family and the two non-family people who are in my life… (my returning friend and my plant killing neighbor)

For me… coping is not just telling people I have Sz. It’s not running away when little stuff like this happens. It’s hard. But I’m working on it. I hate it and I get embarrassed. But I can’t keep running away. I used to use smoking as an excuse to go outside during family meals when my voices got too much. But now that I’m quitting smoking, I’m loosing that excuse.

At work, I excuse myself and say "I left the plans in the truck or I left the notes in the truck… I go to the truck and yell at my voices there. Then I take a xanax and come back and ask people to e-mail me or write it down. People are busy and they like not having to have long conversations about stuff.

This is NOT every single day of my life, sort of thing. It’s been getting less as time goes on.

But I was wondering… What do others do when the voices want to amp up?

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I usually in my mind start calming my voices down as a whole - i just talk ti them as my brain like calm the heck down nothing is wrong. It usually hells a bit. When im alone i just talk to myself lime u do, shut up etc but i try ti be quiet about it around others, and i realized that the talking outloud works best.
Also when alone i sometimes catch myself having conversations with one of the voices which is a nice and polite one

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Surpised J, smoking is detrimental for your swimming health. So you have these bouts of non control? As in voices feelings that pester you? Well my best is advice is be still. Just tell yourself be still. As in your emotions, your impulses. Don’t let other people provoke your path and concentration. I saw a super attractive woman at gym and watched other guys hit on her. But I was still focused on my own workout and GOAL. Even though something, was sending me off the course I prepared, to go and introduce myself to her I didn’t. And she eventually came to where I was and we exchanged greetings in positive way. So those things that are making you negative, you have to let them go. Like devils tempting you, when u feel that recognize ur angels and just be calm. I mean unless its a lack of therapuetic med then u’d have to get that checked by your doc. farewell

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I tried screaming and hurting myself which wasn’t good. When I was first put on the right medication I’d still hear them every so often. I looked at them from a mindfulness perspective and let them end on their own. I also try changing my thoughts if they were negative. I still get them occasionally,(I went through a period where I didn’t have any) but it is usually at night.

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when the voices come up, I get angry at them. They used to be 24/7. Psychopathic deviance and high aggression mixed with psychosis made for one interesting evaluation. I used to blast slipknot on my headophones louder than the voices and workout furiously. Then I would drink, usually heavily. It got me through a year of college with a 3.5.

But that was self destructive and I got sick of the cycle of wake up, go to school, workout, get drunk.

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I know it is. I’ve gotten so slow because of it. Now that I’m down to only three smokes a day. I am picking up speed. The friend who has come back into my life is also quitting smoking now since he doesn’t like it when I swim faster then him. I’m working my way to having two smokes a day. I hoping spring is when I peel off another smoke.

I like your idea of being still. That sounds like something I will try next. Usually my voices are jumbled murmur behind a door like a theater of people keeping their voices low. But sometimes when I’m tired, they amp up.

I am going to try the idea of being still. Thank you for that.

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