Schizophrenia.com

Managed to make it throught the memorial


#1

I made it through my professor’s memorial. I talked to the family a lot, rushed around filling the punch bowl, gave the sister the little crane made out of a dollar to put on his grave (he would always give me a dollar and ask me to go get a soda. He went through several soda phases and didn’t seem to have too much of a favorite so if I bought a soda of any kind it would kinda ring hollow. He didn’t love any particular kind. Just soda in general, so I settled for a dollar folded like a paper crane though money kinda seems like a rude thing to give if it’s just a dollar). He is one of my all time favorite teachers and I was really happy to have the chance to tell the family how much I treasured his guidance.
In the end though, I had had too much after three hours of cheering up/visiting, filling the punch bowl, removing empty platters, ect and I am exhausted. I am very pleased that I managed to keep that up for that long though, it was a true accomplishment that I unfortunately can’t share or other people don’t understand. I’m glad you guys are here. You all can really appreciate the toll that three hours of constant talking, tact (well, mustering all the tact I have. I don’t think I messed up, for once), and just general smiling is.
Turns out (from what his son said) he had depression and his first wife (his son’s mother) was sz. I told him that I was sz too (not using that word though, people tend to listen in if you use that word, but I made sure he knew what I was talking about) and told him how happy I was that he knew his mother loved him. I didn’t go into it much and take up too much of his time, but I thanked him for urging people with mental illness (especially depression. Someone he knew had recently committed suicide) because some of us don’t even want to believe we need help until it is too late.
So if you pray, please say one for Dr. M. I know you didn’t know him, but he really cheered me up every day I went to work.
I don’t know if Catholics still believe this, but at one point it was believed that if someone prays for you, even if they don’t know you, it helps. So just in case, please say a little one for Dr.M.
Thank you.


#2

Will do Onceapoet. I will add him to my prayer list tonight. Sounds as if he was a really special man.

And good for you for successfully hanging in there for three hours! That’s quite an accomplishment!


#3

I usually don’t pray, but I did.


#4

Thank you guys. He really was a special man. As his son talked, I heard something that suggested what some of us (or at least I) am going through. The desire to love and be with people, but at the same time being happiest alone.
His first wife had sz, and I like to think I was one of his favorite students. Maybe because he saw that somehow?