So I’ve had schizophrenic symptoms since I was 12 (probably triggered by puberty) and I am now 17. During this time the symptoms have had a rollercoaster like effect where sometimes there is some, non, or a overwhelming amount. And during this time it has had characteristics of different subtypes with paranoid schizophrenia with full auditory hallucinations and strong spiritual delusions, disorganized schizophrenia with symptoms including but not limited to depression, apathy, horrible short term memory, horrible hygiene, no daily routine, loss of pleasure in everything (including sexual encounters,) and most recently catonic schizophrenia which includes tremors, moments where I cannot break lose from a pose, moving in certain ways (like tapping my fingers or rocking) for hours at a time, and staring intently into my own reflection for 10 minutes or longer unable to break the trance. I’ve been able to deal with the delusional part after breaking my Antichrist belief where I thought Satan could communicate with me. Since then the paranoia has eaten into itself leaving a neutral belief. Instead of thinking about being poisoned, I get paranoid about giving in to such delusions. I question every question I ask, for example my teacher found out that I went to rod run with my family despite her having no way to know that. After that happened a fellow classmate I don’t normally talk with asked how she knew that, which lead me to believe that was a hallucination even though there has been no evidence that I had imagined him saying that. I had never suspected any plot against me, but I had delusions about having delusions. Anyone experience anything similar and if you have could you give coping advice? Thanks
What does your doc say about all this? Has he/she suggested a way forward?
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