Malaprop definition- "the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect."

My wife is French and would make me laugh when we first met…the way she would mix metaphors and butcher the English language.

My favorite malaprop from her was when we were having a serious discussion and she looked at me gravely and said…

“Oh, Patrick. You should never kick a gifted horse in the mouth!” :smile:

Of course, she meant to say, “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

I’ll try to think of some other doozies she came up with.


At Christmas dinner my brother was relating a story where a guy ratted on another guy at work for something.

My wife piped up and said, “I wouldn’t want to be known as a pigeon stool!” :smile:

Of course she meant stool pigeon.


I like how phonetic, which means to spell a word like it sounds, is not acutally phonetic itself.


Another time we were talking about postpartum baby blues and my wife mistakenly said…

“Oh Patrick. Post mortem can be very stressful!” :smile:


I was once writing a Danish rapport where I meant to write ‘delmål’ - partial objective, but wrote ‘delemås’, which translates to ‘butt to be shared’ :joy:


Or the time my dad and I were going by the post office when I was little, and he asked me to remind him to pay for the ‘porto’, postage.
When we get home and my mum greets us, I say "dad did you pay for the porno?:


lol @Pikasaur!

Very funny stuff! :smile:

Not quite the same thing but a lady I know is Polish. She gets her llanguage twisted around, and one time I thought she was saying that her and her husband had been converted by the Jehovah’s Witness. The smile quickly faded for my face, until I realized she just mangled the sentence somehow, so it meant the opposite. I’m still scratching my head LOL I nearly pissed myself laughing though


I remember years ago I was listening to a Talk Radio Show on the issues of the day.

An irate caller phoned in about a certain topic and yelled…

“This isn’t rocket surgery, folks!!”

So the Moderator of the show calmly said…

"No. No it isn’t. I’d also venture to say this isn’t brain science, either! :joy:


When the movie Eye of the Beholder came out, my French supervisor at work told me she was excited to watch that new insect movie that was coming out…

“Eye of the Bee Holder” :joy:

Ahh…you just can’t make this stuff up, folks!


Great thread…

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I think this was a more Freudian slip…

My wife made my friend Daniel a cherry pie. I brought it over to his place, and when i came back I mistakenly said…

“Dan really loved your hairy pie.”

My wife couldn’t stop laughing.

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When i was 8 years old I tried to say “this food is yucky” and instead I shouted “this is f-cky!” I was grounded so hard and still cringe thinking about it.


It’s been a hard days night. A Ringoism.

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