I dont know if this will ever work out for me. I am trying to fit in/enrolled in classes again. I am realizing the entire class will be self-taught online. Ughhh…I feel more normal when I skip doses of Abiilfy. It seems to activate me moreso than anything else. It gives me sedative surreal dreams. It makes me less depressed and happy apathetic. But if i stopped taking it would maybe I learn to face my fears?
I will be trapped in a circle forever until I can change myself…on the flip side/whose to say I can’t be a spiritual person on psyche meds. People do entheogens and drugs they act cool but they’re taking drugs too to alter their mental states. So maybe I will try to find a supplement that chills me out better than the anti-psychotics. Ambien is great though I dont take it every night. That helped me lucid dream.
Edit: I will be continuing to take the meds everyday. Maybe switch to mornings.