LXXVII Say anything

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First post 15151

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Second post 151515

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Finally got one!

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I got a new phone! I love it so far

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awwww missed first, I was on the phone

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What phone did you get?

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What?! No emoji in the title?!?!

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Sorry, next time. You like the boat ? It means we are all on the same boat.

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Yay new say anything!

Tomato

Butterscotch

Sewer grate

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Lg harmony 3 . a cheaper one lol

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So, this stock market crash has totally screwed me up.

I was going to start looking at condos on Monday. But I think I’ll wait things out…

Anybody else going to be putting off a purchase for a while? Given everything that’s going on?

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Always nice to have new toys though

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Work here has come to a stop, getting pretty bad, so not buying anything, just trying to get by, not good at all

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I think you’re in Canada?

But in the states the housing market had been hot for probably 5 or 6 years. I bought in the housing boom of the 2000’s and it was a HUGE mistake.

Yeah. things in Canada going to hell

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Had a dream last night that I went to the movies. I was texting my boyfriend trying to get him to come join me. The theater was mostly empty, a seat away from me there were some girls. I confused one of them with my sister and it was awkward. Anyways the movie started and I was watching when all of a sudden I felt someone aggressively grabbing my thigh. I looked and saw Weinstein sitting next to me! I snapped at him to stop and that I would scream if he didn’t. He jerked his hand away and scowled at me. But then he put his hand back on me and said I wouldn’t scream, I liked it. This made me freeze up and panic and he kept touching me. I thought something like why does this keep happening to me?

All of a sudden time froze everyone else in the theater disappeared and Weinstein turned into a girl about my age. She told me snarkily “I’m not trying to torture you that’s just what you like!” And I was taken aback by that. The girl then said “Hi, I’m Isizriel and I’m your sleep demon!” Very cheerfully. I didn’t really get her name the first few times and kept asking her to repeat it. She got frustrated and said it didn’t matter to which I said it was important to me to know the names of demons that interacted with me. I then asked if everyone had a sleep demon. She responded cheerfully with “I’m your sleep demon!” I said that didn’t answer my question and asked it again but she just just kept responding with the same line mockingly, purposefully avoiding answering.

So anyways all of a sudden she vanishes and I wake up (in the dream). I’m back in the theater and its empty because the movie is over. I was so relieved to find out it was all a dream! But then I saw my phone on the floor. I picked it up and saw a video of Weinstein molesting me, but in the video I was smiling and seeming to enjoy myself. It was incredibly disturbing and upsetting and I was shocked awake.

I told my boyfriend about the dream and in response to the demons name he goes “ohhh isizriel like ‘this is real’.” And I felt like an idiot to have been tricked like that. I also thought that was pretty clever for a dream character! I hope I do not actually have a sleep demon, whatever the hell that is LOL

i worry about dad, he’s got a lot in the market, but he said he sold some stuff a couple weeks ago so he wouldn’t be so exposed. nothing has changed for me really, my mutual fund im sure has gone down, but dad manages that, it’s actually in his name, but he puts my rent money into it each month and he said I will inherit that. so in a way im paying for my own inheritance. but he also said he may use it to pay off the mortgage on this place and set aside money from another account for me.

just got back from the nurse, they switched me to Invega trinza. 814mg, I don’t go back until may 21st which is nice. my nurse said they do monthly checkups with people on trinza, so she said my caseworker will come by once a month from now on. so I have to keep my place clean haha. she weighed me and I was down to 153 pounds with shoes on, sometimes I wear sandals, so im probably more like 152 pounds. im happy with my weight right now. I don’t want to get back below 150 pounds.

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Anything other than long term investing is a bad idea IMO. Leave it in there, it’ll come back.

I was just going to take out $15k next week for a down payment. It would be like throwing away $1,500 to me… so I’m gonna wait.

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It’s the second dream in a row this week I’ve had about abuse unfortunately. The one I had the night before I was living my life successfully as a journalist. I loved my job and the people I worked with. But I had a very traumatic past. When I was 6 1/2 (oddly specific) I had been kidnapped while wandering around the neighborhood. (When I was little I used to sneak out to go to neighbor friend’s houses). I didn’t really have a lot of memories of it. I remembered the actual kidnapping and sitting in the back of the guys car crying and saying I wanted to go home. The guy driving was very calm and said not to worry he would bring me home but he wanted to bring me to meet some of his friends first.

The next thing I remembered was being found a YEAR later (I was dropped off on a random street in my neighborhood, they never caught the people) and my mom bringing me to the hospital for treatment/examination/collecting any evidence. At that point I had no memory of anything that had happened to me and couldn’t really answer the police officer’s questions. Sometimes I would start to remember something and then I would freeze up and go into a huge panic attack and would need my mom or other people to calm me down. I had been very very badly abused.

However I felt that as an adult I had overcome that trauma and felt happy and satisfied. I was proud of myself and just had this strong feeling of contentment.

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