:merperson:t5:🦖 Lucky 13 - Say Anything :one::three:


#1252

There are several videos like this on the internet but I don’t go looking for them. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time…and the person with the “remote” was the one who wanted to play it because he is ■■■■■■ up himself…and it didn’t help matters that a girl was wanting to go back and watch it again because she “didn’t see it”.

People are ■■■■■■ up. And not in the way that they get off on watching people hurt them self…it’s much more likely that they want to do it themselves and want to see what it looks like. If it’s humane or not. If people will still love them after they’re gone.

Boy I’m hearing myself say “pray to god” when I don’t even believe in God who would exist while all these things are happening. Probably just wishful thinking on my part but I’ll accept it.


#1253

Please stay away from these people!


#1254

I left when the guy died. I said if they showed him dying, I would leave, and I did.


#1255

Ich will spielen! :slightly_smiling_face: @ThePoeticSkunk


#1256

I went to visit my aunt today. She said she’s been really lonely lately, so I’m glad I decided to go. We stayed for a few hours and now I’m mentally exhausted, though. She’s got pretty severe Parkinson’s and it’s really hard to hear/understand her, so that’s always awkward. I wish I could have known her before she got sick.


#1257

When I was 13 on Facebook randomly I saw these guys literally saw this other guys head off. Like behead him. It was so ■■■■■■ up. But it was like a trainwreck, I couldn’t look away.

Nothing ■■■■■ me up anymore. Saw too much of stuff like that (never seeking it out of course, it was mostly from middle school boys showing videos to scare girls)

(Note: I actually recently accidentally saw a video of a cop shooting a poor friendly dog. It fucked me up FOREVER. I had nightmares. It’s still in my head. I’d rather watch unlimited people die then one dog.)

I’m sorry. It will take you a while to forget. People who watch those videos by choice are totally ■■■■■■ up in my opinion.


#1258

I’m having a hard time with rage again. I just get all shaky and sweaty and want everyone to die. I have violent thoughts as well, but it’s usually me imagining cursing others out really good.

I think if I was able to say the worst things to at least one person I would feel better. I just want to make someone cry.

:confused: if I’m a bad person I would like to at least be able to be viciously mean to somebody. Instead of bottling it all up.


#1259

You can always talk to me if you’re feeling upset.


#1260

This was my favorite German board game as a kid. :grinning:


#1261

I remember playing Ludo as a kid…looks the same board!!! Very interesting @Moonbeam !


#1262

I could not sleep for some reason. It is almost 2 am. I will try to go to bed.


#1263

I’m awake right now, its 1 in the morning, forgot to take my meds, feeling very emotionally unstable, sorrowful and all that, it just comes over me, leads me to believe I may need a mood stabilizer.


#1264

I am filled with a lot of negative emotions as of this moment

I feel emotionally abused


#1265

Watched some african king fu videos on youtube, was never a fan of choreographed fighting, or even real fighting for that matter. No one wins, both people get hurt etc. Maybe I cared about being tough and winning petty fights when I was like 14. Yes I realize the choreography is seen as an art, but I see it as just being stuck in some silly 15 year old anime or action movie fantasy. Sorry if I offended fans of fighting.


#1266

I’m up a bit earlier than I wanted to be. I didn’t work last night, so I went to bed around 3 am, only to wake up around 6:30. After being wide awake in bed for half an hour I said to hell with it and got up, made coffee. I have to work tonight, so I’ll take an afternoon/evening nap.

Well, a week into the healing process my new tattoo is mostly healed. There’s just a few tiny rough spots that need to heal yet, but the rest is smooth skin now, I’m very happy with the progress.

I’m going to get a haircut this morning, for the first time in a couple months. I’ll feel more human again, especially getting this hair off my neck and ears. I keep saying I need to just have it all buzzed off, but I haven’t yet worked up the nerve to do that.


#1267

I just woke up earlier from a nightmare about dogs being hurt by people. I am not in a good mood this morning for the most part, so hopefully my day will go better since I took my updated dose this morning.


#1268

Got my Javascript and CSS certificates from sololearn. I’m working on the C++ one now. They’re mainly for fun. I am learning though.


#1269

I think a girl called me “dog shit” yesterday lmao)

Was kinda hot


#1270

I’m sitting next to my sleeping friend. He’s sick, and he’s got an unrelatef hospital visit tomorrow, so he needed someone to stay with him.
I’m happy to do it.

What I’m NOT happy about is the smell of used diapers from my clothes after two days of internship at the nursing home. Still 3 days to go.


#1271

(Oh look, my older brother seems to be feeling good and is talkative. My thoughts must be manifesting!)

…Never mind, he got his weed…That sums it up.