Schizophrenia.com

LSD and Death

We were mucking around with liquid form LSD on sugar cubes, and someone gave me a pint glass full of whiskey just after I took mine. Pretty sure with hindsight the drink was also spiked

I necked it, and I literally fell into some massive network of dark stairs that appeared in my ceiling, going off infinitely in all directions.

Everything was dark, but there was an aurora shadow of all sorts of different things surrounding me that I could clearly make out as I was falling

Even though I am not religious, I saw the devil confront me, and I punched him. He smiled, and everything went into reverse gear, and I was sent back

For a long while I felt back in my body, but not. Not sure how long this all lasted in real time, but it felt like this journey was an eternity, like sometimes dreams do.

I ended up in the dark, looking back up through my ceiling at the milky way

After a long long time, my eyes opened to a room of people, as one of them was kicking me in the back trying to wake me up.

As soon as I came to, they all left.

Since this happened, I was convinced I had visited another realm within our universe and had in fact died.

For some reason I came back. Not sure why, and I question it all the time.

Safe to say the profoundness of what happened to this day has had a massive effect on me, as to me personally what I experienced was a form of existence after death had occurred

Sorry, but it’s hard for me to explain it fully what happened, as it was a visually and physically disturbing experience. I am probably not doing it justice

Safe to say, what was left in the end was psychosis - as I was not able to handle it

Just after this had happened, I ended up back at my parents house, as I had been kicked out and put in social housing.

The aurora never went away, and the people inside it were passing me messages and were talking to me

Once I figured out they were showing me pictures of things, I started to draw frantically everything they were showing me in scribbled biro

Some of it was intense art that was even reversible in some cases.

Imagine standing on the platform of your plain of existence, and having access to every living soul past and present in the universe, and every single last one of them trying to get you to draw their story for them

Two weeks after this happened, I was placed in a youth offenders institute, for a crime that took place when I had taken Mushrooms many months earlier.

I was sentenced for 12 months, as the magistrate judge did not like me shouting about all this in the middle of a court room. When I got there, because I wouldn’t leave my cell or eat anything, and was doing these crazy drawings, they sent me to the mental health wing of another prison

Long story short, this was my first ever contact with mental health services, and I was released back into a community hospital by time I turned 17. I was diagnosed with Drug-Induced psychosis

I took Olanzapine until I was 19, then I was able to just about function until psychosis returned when I was 22.

This time there were no drugs in my system, and they decided it was paranoid Schizophrenia

What grew inside of me was the sense of injustice, and the fact that I had people try to kill me from the gangs that were around - who had lost a good customer since I got clean

All this that had happened fuelled my descent back into madness, but I no longer needed drugs to set me off or trigger these experiences.

Ever since, I have been on high doses of antipsychotics, and it took 5 years trying 7 different ones to eventually settle down

Now I sit here as an empty person, contemplating suicide all the time.

I do not feel like I fit here, and resent the fact I was sent back in this manner.

My current working theory is that I was damned to hell, was I was sent back, and this existence I perceive as hell.

The devil may well be the wrong way to describe the thing I confronted, but either way I guess another description would be a ‘gatekeeper’

We are here in hell, and our job here is to try and escape it

I am now a firm believer that this was a death experience. Nothing was ‘near death’ about it. It was a total death experience

Many people may think this is ■■■■■■■ nuts, but I’d have to agree with you on one hand, but the other maybe not

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Acid has the potential to cause permanent loss of touch with reality. It’s a scary drug. But don’t give up. Do your meds help at all? I’m sorry you feel like you’re in Hell.

It’s lsd. Trouble with hanging with people who are tripping is it’s real for them. Not real if your out of that perspective. It’s not mystical or magical it’s just some pretty simple brain chemistry that affects human minds.

It’s like people who want their delusions confirmed. It’s real for them not for the shrinks or treatment team. They just say. It’s lsd or it’s delusions. The content isn’t important because it’s simple bogus brain chemisty.

Plenty of people I know couldn’t handle tripping and still pay the price to this day. No surprise someone prone to a mental illness thinks like you do about it all.

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Yeah, I regret taking LSD on sugar cubes. I sometimes wonder if it might have a link with my current sz.

Yeah,

I’ve done LSD a couple times and always has some kind of spiritual experience, good and bad.

I’m sorry it’s left you with these feelings.

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It’s still illegal. Please respect the boards and keep things in a recovery perspective. Condoning the use of hallucinagenics is not only inappropriate in our community it’s downright irresponsible.

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I have done acid a few times, when I was a teenager, and never had a bad trip on it. But it is is extremely intense, and certainly test your mind to its limits

I also had intensely spiritual experiences. I would never do it now, too dangerous

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All I did on mine was stare forward and clench my jaw tightly. Don’t know why it made me clench my jaw but it did.

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The first time I tried it, after my friends had gone home the next morning, I took a long walk in the woods and saw a mink cross a log across a creek about 6 feet away. It was a beautiful moment

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No one should be forced to take lsd ever. Also sounds like you were very young

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Who said anything about being forced? Did I miss something

He said the drink had something in it too.

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When I was 19 I took acid 9 times. Mister Terence McKenna wasn’t really into acid but he did it 300-400 times.

He was more into shrooms and dmt himself

The 9th time i had a bad trip

People broke into my house threw a party, wrecked my house, fd with me, trashed my house and threw knives at the wall near my head because they heard I was tripping???

I think this induced my psychosis.

Lsd the first 8 times was the best medicine until this happened

Too bad it wasn’t legal back then when it would’ve benefited me instead of having to be ■■■■■■ with by punk high school kids

Still I have no regerts

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