So I’m having trouble today with my self worth. I feel worthless. I feel pointless. I’ve started working on my writing again, and I wonder if the negativity stems from that, but I’ve been reading this book on structuring stories and I’ve actually been getting some things figured out about my story that I was stuck on or didn’t like.
I don’t know what else has me bothered. I’m trying to fight the negative voices in my head and trying to fight the darkness that is surrounding me but it is hard. Does anyone have any ways/methods they use to battle this feeling of self-worthlessness?
You could possibly be becoming a tortured artist. A lot of musicians, actors, authors etc. have to sometimes work with dark subject matter. Not all life is pure, which proves the silliness of some forms of censorship. That’s just a possibility. What is your story about? I’m artistic to a point myself, so at times when I’m depressed, I’ll listen to music that sufficiently matches my mood. Don’t know if this helps. Just a plausibility.
It’s about a soul collecting demon and his attachment to a specific family, the main character is involved after the death of her parents and becomes his next target, she has to find a way defeat him before he kills her. But it’s taking me forever. I’m stuck somewhere in the middle, I have several planned out scenes, but some things aren’t sitting right with me…like connecting the dots but my dots aren’t aligning with logical flow…I know it’s a fictional story but I want it to read as if it were real.
The thing that bugs me the most is when I read about people saying “Write what you know” well there are somethings I’m not too sure about, like career wise because I have very little career experience. The voices tell me when I get to writing about the girl who is a 911 dispatcher that I don’t know what I’m talking about and it’s not how things work in the area I’m writing about…and that bugs me the most because I don’t know and it’s hard finding information. Still I remind myself things are fictional, and I debate how things work and I become so overwhelmed I start feeling overly stressed and put the writing down and forget about it…until my creativity levels spark up again and I feel like working on it.
At this rate I wonder if this book will ever get finished.
I heard someone say, “writing is easy. You just sit at a desk until you bleed upon a page”. If you want to write it takes a huge commitment. As for not knowing how a female dispatcher would react, writers do research about those kinds of things. They make a huge effort to learn about it.
I think my chemical’s where off balance because I hadn’t eaten much today. After eating diner I feel fine now. The mood seems to have passed. Taking a break and walking away from the computer for a while helped. I guess I was just pushing myself too hard or something.
Thats good to hear. Eating and water is essential to a healthy brain (god i sounded like a steretypical nutritionist). But it is true. Your physical co exists with your mental.
I’ve been feeling out of it all day today, not really hallucinations, some uncontrolled noise in my head (not outside my head and it wasn’t really saying anything, just a noise like multiple hushed conversations going on around me even though I was alone. Also feeling nauseous most of the day, and had a dizzy spell when I got up earlier. I wonder if Mr.Monthly is on his way, my symptoms usually peak around around that time. I know that’s a bit too much info, but it’s the truth…plus I think that week or so where I changed the dosage really screwed up my body. I guess I just have to ride this out until things get quiet again.
I wouldn’t know since I’m a guy but with meds anytime I’ve changed meds or increased dosage,t in my body, I always feel a difference the first week as the brain gets used to the imbalance. For me at least eventually the feeling of the change wears off. Exercise and good food I find helps with the change I’m putting in my body. But yea my brain always has that period when it gets nervous about a different med or chemical I put in my body so it reacts.
I get that feeling as well but haven’t had to much lately. I don’t know what made it go away, maybe I just haven’t focused on it so much. The more you pay attention to something the worse the voices and moods tend to get, at least it is that way with me.
First time writing in the forum. Your post catch me up. The only thing that comes to my mind is to tell you that you can’t forget what you are…an artist, a writer. I’m not an artist but I think that being one, especially when you are writing about something, and you are trying to transmit something…things can get pretty stressful. So just relaxxxx…!!! I know it sounds so easy, but believe me, it’s when the best things flow out of our minds…!!! Just fallow your story and believe in your potential…!!! You are going to write something inspirational…you have the gift
Do this stuff (with workbooks or with a therapist). Meds do not cure low self-worth. Low self-worth is the result of illogical thinking and unprocessed psychological trauma.
There’s a balance (scale) in everyone’s life…Too much weight in one side will create unbalance…!!! Weight is not always in our hands, in fact, the majority of the times, weight comes from external sources. So it’s our responsibility, to TRY to manage that weight before it can unbalance ourselves. Even when everything points to the side of negativity, we have to trust our “third eye”, our insight…!!! I think that a good way is being skeptic… There’s a lot of things going on… Hormones imbalance, neurotransmitters imbalance, hypo or hyper brain activity, etc that can alter our thoughts, plus everything external. We’re doing a hell of a job trying to be part of this society, so try not to put more weight on the bad side (pressure on yourself). The only thing we should be worried about are the things we can control (what’s in our hands). Try to chill… If voices are a problem, study them, study their personalities, maybe they will tell you a lot about yourself…and knowing ourselves will never be a bad thing. Our homework is to deal with the weight in order to maintain our balance…!!! Well, that’s my opinion ️, hope it helps. Take care my friend.
I do believe this was the culprit of the symptoms last week…enough said. It wasn’t necessarily the writing though I was getting frustrated with myself that I’m not as far along as I would like to be. It was just a random mood swing I think due to a chemical shift inside of me.