Losing weight with diet pills while on Antipsychotic Meds

I stopped taking diet pills pills I am sick of pills most of the time Diet pills have weird side effects and make me sick I found that out with Lipozene I took twice and threw up both times so I will throw them away no more diet pills for me unless its Alli they are well tolerated by me and I don’t have any jittery side effects or vomiting with them.I have to do something to lose weight but diet pills is out unless its Alli along with Slim fast or weight watchers meals I lost 30 pounds at one time which I still cant believe so it is possible to lose weight while on antipsychotic meds and antidepressants.But the only thing is you usually gain all the weight back and more when you stop dieting that’s bad about all Diets soon as you stop you gain the weight back the only way for permanent weight loss is to do it the hard way eating right eating smaller portions and exercising that’s if I can get my big fat butt to do any exercise plus I give up easy if I don’t see results right away and I know I wont see results right away but still I want to weigh in everyday just to se if I have lost any so far I haven’t lost any weight and if I do it comes back the next day or the same day. why is that must be my metabolism and the way my body type is is why I cant lose any weight at all I should be able to I used to be able to no problem why cant I lose now? Can anyone answer why? I always thought I was cursed or something keeping me heavy I don’t know silly I know but I still feel that way at times. And the Question I have if I am Cursed why am I cursed to not be able to lose weight why would someone put such effort and thought into whether I lose weight or not? Doesn’t that require a lot of energy spent on my behalf and waste of time? I used to be model thin and extremely attractive in my past and I think Jealousy played a part in me being overweight someone didn’t like me so they put a hex or curse on me only a theory so don’t jump down my throat if I am wrong but what if I am not wrong about this matter of weight
gain and no loss?