I started seeing this guy in November of last year. We were both crazy compatible mostly our loud happy extroverted personalities. We fell in love like crazy and admitted we’ve never loved anybody the way we love each other. In June on this year I had my first psychotic episode. It affected absolutely every aspect of my mind and life but I waa functional enough to keep faking i was still the person he fell in love with. I wasn’t faking it only for him I was faking it for myself as well because I wanna be that person so desperately and I know without this condition I AM that person deep down. I always had a hope my psychosis will resolve but seeing now that It won’t I’m starting my treatment with AP. I’m aware of the side effects and potential ways it will impact my whole life. I love this guy so much I can’t stand the idea of losing it. He has no clue that anything is wrong, he thinks I’m still the old me. What should I do?
If you can fake it that long you must have a handle on things. Just keep doing what you are doing.
I thought of that option. But I’m scared AP will change my personality and I will become this ghost of a person I once was. And that’s not the person he fell in love with
Maybe you could delicately bring the guy up on your condition. Let him know you can control it, and nothing could happen that would make you stop loving him.
Thank you, I hate how much stigma there is associated with this disease
I don’t think the ap will negatively affect your personality that much. It’ll just loosen you up so that you can be more yourself.
I really hope so. I really shouldn’t have spent as much time as I did researching and reading worst case scenarios for each medicine.
It depends on the person with regard to side effects. Mine were not dramatic at all and just caused symptoms to disappear gradually. Hope its the same for you. The most other drugs did for me is make me sleepy, lethargic or not have periods…until i found the right one thst didnt do any of those things.
Yeah, the internet is great at making us all hypochondriacs. I think you should be honest with him. If he loves you as much as he says he does, he should stand by you. Also, if you love him, you owe him the truth. Good luck, whatever you decide.
I’d tell him. It would bring u two closer if he truly loves u.
You might get a breakthrough eventually. After 21 years of suffering, at 35, I discovered Rexulti. the only drug that reduces my voices.
I don’t know exactly about personality changes as sz started for me while my personality was still developing. Maybe sometimes I’m more funny and lively than then.
(Unfortunately, I’m not on it now)
But…
It looks like you’ve found someone that’s worth something in your life. Please at least be kind enough to yourself to let him decide if he likes what you see as the new you.
You could always tell him how you feel. But ‘fake’ it to a certain extent, you know ? Tell him you’re feeling a little off.
I used to know a softer word for psychotic but I forget it now.
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