So forum denziens, I humbly come to you with this situation.
Years ago I had a very close friend. We were both freelance writers, met on a writing forum and talked daily. We even were pregnant at the same times- me with my last 2 and her with her only 2.
When I say we were close, I mean close. We shared everything about our lives. She lived in NY as well and visited. Her kids were friends with mine.
Then I went psychotic. We also did not match politically, which was not as bad back then as it is now. This friendship break was before 2016. She pretty much dropped me for being too mentally ill and unpredictable plus my financial status became one that her other friends like to malign in folks ( ie- welfare user).
In 2019 I reached out, said I missed her. She said she missed our friendship as well, but that was it. No other words.
I woke up at close to 3 am today. Decided to look at my phone for a sec. Saw a message and didn’t recognize who. It said “hey lady. I miss you” also saw that somehow she had posted on a friend’s only fb post and sent a friend request.
Guys, I got over losing her friendship. It’s been 4 years since she basically let it be known that she couldn’t deal with a friend that has a severe mental illness. Should I:
A. Ignore it.
B. Tell her I got over the loss after she ignore me.
C. Give her a chance. (This i only included to be fair because someone will suggest it)
I have someone that has taken the empty spot she left, now that I look at my life. Filled it better than she did, because I never feel judged and they experience mental illness as well. So, yeah, I don’t think I’ll consider option C.
Option c!!! Maybe just be friends with her online
Not happening. As I said, just included it because someone would say it.
I would explain to her that she really hurt you by dropping you, and that you’ve since gotten over it and made new friends. I’d let her know.
I’m thinking if you don’t want a long discussion explaining things to her though that you should completely ignore it.
Honestly, I don’t know if it’s the best choice but I would personally ignore her.
Confronting her could make things worse and complicate things further.
To make it more clear, the person she misses no longer exists. Breakdowns, meds, and therapy changed a lot.
That’s true. I think you should just completely ignore her
I would ignore it
Currently I have a person trying to make contact with me
My choice was to ignore it
People move on, and the point you separated at is likely to be much further distance to meet each other halfway
Your choice though
The friendship I refer to was 10 years ago
It was a severe betrayal and telling that they could not be a true friend through hard times
This is very similar, @Joker .
Fyi. I deleted her fb friend request. I think I will ignore it. No need to manufacture drama. I’m becoming happy with who I am now and know the friends I have are real friends
I’ve had bad friends from the past contact me. I don’t respond. I only respond to people that treated me well in the past and want to get back in touch.
You don’t want to be her friend again so basically that says it all.
She dumped you because you got ill? May I ask, what did you do/say in order for the relationship to go downhill? I mean friends should support each other.
Why would I have had to have done or said anything?
I’m sorry but this doesn’t make any sense
I guess it depends on if you feel anything would be gained by explaining why you don’t want to rehash the friendship.
Option c is an awful option, speaking from personal experience. If you’re in a good place, why reopen old wounds that are healing?
So, would you gain more peace of mind from sharing your feelings, or letting it go and not responding? There’s power in either option.
Real friends do, but not all “friends” are real friends. @anon4362788 didnt do something wrong. She got ditched when she needed her so called friend the most. Just because people “should” do something doesn’t mean they actually do it. Some people only care about themselves
I feel uncomfortable to answer,
I am ignoring a friend of mine since two months,
we were friends from 2008 but he changed,
he is not the same as I knew him.
So, no point in connecting with him for old talks,
which is long forgotten,
and there is no much to talk about.
If I answer his call what ever he speaks will hurt me.