Living with past mistakes

DX'd - Other
1

I would like to share a bit about myself. I hate my past choices. I used to not be schizophrenic. I smoked a lot of weed in high school. When the weed wasn’t doing anything, I decided to go for some synthetic marijuana. During Christmas time I smoked some in a Walmart parking lot. I stared to OD off of the white powder, that I found out later was laced with Paint Thinner. After that I had minor symptoms of schizophrenia, that got progressively worse after I graduated from college. It costed me a job and a lot of friends.

You can’t take back past choices. Schizophrenia has impacted my life in a very negative way and every day I wish I could take my past choices back. If I could say one thing its that don’t do drugs.

I’d like to end on a positive; I’m a very happy person now and I have a lot of support from my family and the mental health field. Life is good. :sunny:

4 Likes
2

If you (not you specifically) never made a mistake in your entire life,
I would not call you Jesus, I 'd call you a Liar.

1 Like
3

You need to remember too that there is a genetic component to these diseases and even if you never did comsume those drugs you may still have become sympomatic later in life. I honestly feel like my overconsumption of weed actually helped me to have an earlier more controlled psychosis. I can see now how even before i smoked i had small sympyoms and i think if i cracked 5 or 10 years later it would have been worse. Sometimes our own mistakes can be for the better in the big picture, sounds like youre doing very well now :slight_smile:

2 Likes
4

Cigarettes were my downfall. I quit just a few years ago after being addicted all my adult life. It was a horrible dependency.
Anyway, I’m glad you are doing well.

1 Like
5

I’ve made some terrible sz and mania mistakes. I had weight loss surgery and did some terrible things to my marriage til one day i walked out…i wish i never had that awful surgery. It was like a spiral into hell. Anyway I’m fat again. Karma got me. I don’t really think I’ll forgive myself even though I have been forgiven.

6

Weight loss surgery really changes your mood eh, weird.

1 Like
7

A good majority of people who have the surgery end up divorcing or leaving relationship

1 Like
8

Does the person who lost weight become more egotistical, or does the sudden bodily change make the person manic?

2 Likes
9

Good question. For a person without a mental illness likely it’s just the ego boost. I was manic over the top. And yeah I really thought i was all that and invincible. I destroyed my .marriage. Thankfully my ex forgave me and now we are good friends

2 Likes
10

Good that it kind of worked out in the end.

1 Like
11

Yeah it did. It’s really good for the kids if we are friends

1 Like
12

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.