Living with parents

I currently live with my parents . I’m just wondering if anyone else still lives with there parents or do you live on your own. Is living with my parents red flag in dating world? Should I be embarrassed to live at home still. If you don’t live at home anymore would you move back in with parents instead of paying rent and living at your own place. I just got out of the hospital in July. I could move out but it would cost.me.alot money and I just started taking the right medication. Do you think moving out to soon is bad?

4 Likes

I’m 50 and still live with my father. Yeah it isn’t good for dating but sometimes it’s good to have some security and save some money. If your recently out of hospital I’d suggest just getting stable first then work on other aspects of your life to get to independant living.

5 Likes

I agree with @rogueone

2 Likes

Its possible to date while at your parents house. I had a gf for 5yrs while living with my parents. She had her own house though and wanted me to live with her.

3 Likes

Depending on how old you are living with your parents isn’t a huge deal 50% of millennials live with their parents. I’m 24 and still live with mine probably will for the next 2-3 years while I get my degree

1 Like

If you have a psychiatrist, maybe ask him/her what they think. If your ready. I would guess you may want to wait a year or two to get it right. Schizophrenia is a serious disorder.

1 Like

i still live with my parents

and i am hoping to get married

living with ur parents is very common here in india

its good to live with ur parents

1 Like

Living with your parents can be a good or bad thing;if you have a mental illness. For my parents my mental illness became another reason why they argued. There were mixed messages- treat me like an adult when it came to taking half my disability money for my keep vs otherwise treating me like I was mid teens. A sister who resented the attention I got although often it was rather s****y. My mother saw my not always agreeing with her as a justification to say ‘Have you taken your pills?’ or ‘I think you’re getting ill again’.My father wasn’t any better back then.He brooked no opposition.
There was a lot of high expressed emotion.

1 Like

Well for me personally, living with my parents was not helpful for me. It was like a codependent relationship. I felt powerless and didn’t have any privacy. But it was cheaper than moving out.

When I moved out I was very isolated, and my life didn’t immediately improve. After a while though, since the pressure of codependency was released, all the stress of the previous years that I had ‘shoved down’, bubbled up and I went a bit mad. But afterwards I got better.

I think moving out is risky, but the risk is worth it.

1 Like

I had to and still do live with my parents when I was first diagnosed. I was to much and are still a suicidal risk because I would go up and down alot unpredictability. So, for me personally it has been great for family support, financial stress free not having to pay for groceries, rent, medical bills and tests, being in a comfortable home, no mortgage, kids or husband, taking all the time I need to navigate my way through this tricky illness. If my diagnosis of schizophrenia is correct it is a huge deal. It has till now in the past year upsides every aspect of my life dramatically. To survive I have to be very selfish to look after myself. I remember a Psychiatrist said the biggest predictor of success for psychosis is a very strong family friend support network. At first I did not agree but as time as passed she was 100%. Having zero support and severe loneliness can be the thing that bites you unexpectedly on the bumb. I also have given up worrying about passing time and trying to be a control freak. Both bought be to much stress. I take a few hours every day at a time with this illness because I can never predict how I will be tomorrow. I may have a good morning and a horrible afternoon or vice versa. Not thinking beyond a few weeks has dramatically reduced the stress for me. I have learned to be a lot kinder to myself. Schizophrenia is a huge, huge deal and can be extremely traumatic - trauma wise. It is like someone coming unexpectedly along and pushing an entirely pieced chest board (your structured life) and knocking it sideways to the ground. Or letting a bag of neatly packed marbles go all around the house. This is what Schizophrenia does to every aspect of your life. In saying this everyone has different levels of severity and aspects of this illness and some persons adapt better, have more resilience, etc. For myself I am taking all the time I need because Schizophrenia as most would agree on this forum is completely life altering in every way possible. Good luck.

2 Likes

I agree with @rogueone , make sure you’re stable first.

I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with living with your family, especially if you have a serious mi like schizophrenia.

When you do decide you think you’re ready to move out look into subsidized apartments and rental assistance for the disabled.

Look up reviews of different apartments too. Some apartments can be in nice areas but still be complete garbage.

And when you do move out you might want to get a little low maintenance pet like a cat.

I live in a subsidized apartment with my handsome tuxedo kitty and I’m generally happy these days. :slight_smile:

1 Like

I’m sorry, that you had parents who treated you like that.

1 Like

To be fair ,it was comparatively mild. You could probably find at least 50+ posters here who have had it a lot worse when it comes to their parents.

1 Like

It doesn’t sound all that mild to me. Why be dismissive of your own experiences, regardless of how other people have had it?

But, it seems like schizophrenics really do have bad family dynamics, generally. My relationship with my mom is worse than I have generally allowed myself to acknowledge.

I wasn’t intentionally being dismissive of them. It’s just that on their own I don’t think they would’ve been bad enough for me to become severely mental ill. Add in 10 years of boarding schools,prep then public school,especially the severe verbal bullying at public school,then that combination is ultra toxic.

1 Like

Yes I think living with your parents let’s say later than 35 is a red flag in the dating world. Unless you have a great career then ok.The problem is we can’t afford a regular place and subsidized housing list is 10 years I’m 45 and live with parents. I think the only way is to focus on improving my life without the complications of sex. I will practice celibacy until I’m in a place of my own. 8 more years yikes

This is rather dismissive, honestly, and what I was referring to.

What did your parents do about the bullying at school? They could have put a stop to it by: talking to the school administration, or, if that failed to improve your situation, placing you in a better school environment.

At certain years, you have to move out of your parents’ house. Living with them when you’re over 30 isn’t normal at all!!! I don’t know how old you are or what your situation is, but it’s a red flag for dating

I have no idea whether my parents did or didn’t do anything . I do know our parish vicar wrote to my housemaster about it. My housemaster’s reply was polite but basically stripped down was ‘Bullying has declined, but he is the sort of boy that invites this sort of treatment’. This was in autumn 1970.

Like many from that generation who would much later be dxed as on the autism spectrum school life was rather s****y be it boarding or non boarding. Being bullied happened more than it didn’t happen.

It was the custom for male children of diplomats to be sent to boarding school as near to the age of 8 as possible.The idea was to provide continuity of education, the pinnacle of which would be getting to university. The alternative in my case would have been 1965-1968 school in San Francisco, 1968-1973 school in England , 1973-1975 school in Zurich.

1 Like

It is disturbing that you have no idea, if they did anything or not. They should have spoken to you about this issue, telling you what course of action they had decided to take, and seeking your input.

Your housemaster was an incompetent man who was unfit for his job.

Regardless of what is or is not custom, at any given time, common sense should take precedence. If your parents had been decent and independent thinkers, they would have saw to it that you received better treatment at school, and kept you close by, so they could make sure that was the case.

They are the problem.