My first five years of having a mental illness I didn’t like people who talked about their illnesses a lot. I was able to have a job too. Then my sickness got much worse. I don’t believe i indulge in excess in my symptoms. I believe I experience extreme pain. There was a day in the hospital when it seemed like everyone was going crazy, even people who worked there. There were many people screaming for a long time. I was in my room feeling sad about it and fear at the same time. Then I let myself become one with the feeling and it felt considerably better. I saw us as a big pot of hot broth being stirred by a Buddha. People started settling down. It seemed sinister to see us as a broth and wondered if maybe it wasn’t Buddha but a demon who was going to drink us.
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