Limerence is the mental state of being madly in love or intensely infatuated when reciprocation of the feeling is uncertain. This state is characterized by intrusive thoughts and idealization of the loved one (also called “crystallization”), typically with a desire for reciprocation to form a relationship. This is accompanied by feelings of ecstasy or despair, depending on whether one’s feelings seem to be reciprocated or not. Research on the biology of romantic love indicates that the early stage of intense romantic love (also called passionate love) resembles addiction, but academics do not currently agree on how love addictions are defined. (wikipedia: Limerence - Wikipedia )
has anyone gone through something similar to this? I was madly in love with somebody when I was a teen… I was extremely depressed at the time and I pretty much imagined our whole “relationship” in my head, because the object of my desire lived in the other side of the world and I was really just “friends” with her. but in my head I had a relationship with her.
it was very dark time in my life. it lasted for roughly 2 years and it was total torture for me. I self harmed brutally because it made me feel closer to her. but she would not return my feelings and I was in pain. I was 15-17 years old. I got sz at age 19 so I guess this was something foreshadowing my mental health taking a turn for the worse. I am still confused with what happened, because my memories of this time (or my life generally age 15-20) are very faint and biased with mental illness.
maybe this whole thing was me going towards psychosis? I am trying to understand myself better and forgive myself for everything that happened during this time in my life. I am trying to get better and let go of resentment I have when I think about this time in my life.
or is it limerence? finally I feel there is a word for what I went through. it gives me comfort. peer support, I need that right now.
I fell in lov with elon musk but he didnt respond on twitter.
I dont really feel like being in lov wid any1 else.
I think i will stay single. My heart was 4 elon musk but he didnt respond so thats now down the drain. Not going bak to that. Time 2 move on. Let me read wat u wrote.
Yea im still in lov wid him but it might all b in my head as i never met him. But he didnt respond so im not going to pursue it even tho in my head im still in lov wid him
This all happened to me good 20+ (!!!) years ago. I have a spouse who I have been with for 22 years… he is my rock and I’m so grateful for him.
I am just trying to get closure to things that bothered me years ago… @Zoe I hope you get closure too, I know how devaststing it is to not get an answer from someone you feel very strongly about. I know I did cry and hurt myself when she didn’t answer, and I imagined a lot of interaction between us. I hope you won’t end up in a situation like that because it is unhealthy and borderline psychotic.
@everhopeful I am still trying to understand myself, my limerence happened 20+ years ago but still I wonder about it a lot. I know this person I was in love with, and now I see her as a normal person, but back then I saw her as an Angel out of this world, a perfect being. Now I understand her and I feel for her, she did not have her life easy either. Life is weird.
Oh ok idk how to help you find closure. Could u send her a text?
To say how u felt. And that you see things differently now. And sometimes we go through ■■■■ in order to appreciate the real relationships that you have now made
We are in ok relationship, between me and her these days. Distant, but friendly. She has battled with addiction problems. I truely wish her nothing but happiness, and I don’t blame her for anything. I was the one going crazy.
That sounds alright that u both are doing ok as friends in the distance makes me feel warm to hear and that you have a solid relationship with ur partner, not bad
I dealt with this when I was 15. When I finally moved on it was into a horribly abusive relationship, but that’s a story for another time.
I realized I was never in love with her. It felt so intense and real, but I ultimately figured out I was in love with the idea of her and that I didn’t know her at all. I had this false idea of her and built my “love” around that.
Yup, I have had issues with limerence since high school. The way I describe it is being in love with the idea of actual reciprocal love.
Recurring theme for me. I remember a time where a girl I liked a lot finally told me she liked me and I immediately lost interest. I can think of four times in my life where I have dealt with intense limerence off the top of my head.
As far as limerence vs delusion, I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive. One of my obsessions with a girl was linked to delusions, but I still categorize it as limerence.
@slow_among_roses I also feel that my experience with limerence was delusional. I see that now and now I have perspective on things. I believe in my case it was a deal of many things, my mental health collapsing, the age thing (I was a teenager) and just the fact that I had most of my friends online and living in the other side of the world, I spent my nights chatting with my friends (they were awake at that time, time zone differences) and I lived in a imaginary world pretty much all the time.
For me the limerence went away when I met my spouse and I was finally able to experience real love for the first time. now I see the girl I was in love with in completely different light… I used to put her on a pedestal and think she was an angel out of this world and that she was perfect. now I see her as a person. I still kinda miss the times I had only her in my mind, but I really need to somehow deal with these feelings, because there is so much things left unanswered in my mind. I need to paint a painting of her and my feelings. art is my way to deal with things.
I’m not sure if its is literacy but I have strong feelings for this girl who lived in Romania. We communicate via snapchat but I’ve chosen to disengage as I said something dumb and also, my mental state suffers whenever we interact
makes me feel warm to hear and that you have a solid relationship with ur partner, not bad 