Lil skitzaphernic poem

Searching for me in this darkness I swim,
I wish I never expierenced this addiction,
Raped me of my mind & some kinda life,
I’m only here one time I never heard of my kind,
I wish I could run down a slide & rewind time,
God please forgive me show me the light,
I have no other sources to my domain,
I want to shine & love my life,
Seek the benefits of recovery and maybe have a wife,
I’m searching for hope no hope I see,
Wondering where the ■■■■ is this 3rd of recovery,
It can’t be the answer using this drug,
I just think it’s easier to commit suicide,
Honestly I wish I did die that time,
Its so hard to smile,
Existing not living,
Dead inside,
Nothing to say nothing to hide,
I wish you were here you are a good guy,