Life story update

Because my mom is sick I have been depressed. I withdrew $100 out of an ATM by mistake and overdrew my account plus a $140 overdraft fee from my bank. I moved to a city woman’s shelter because my dad punched me in the face over it.

But then I got uncomfortable and left without signing the exit papers and I never spent the night there. I sold my $1,000 laptop for $30 because I was being stupid and was talked into it. I never will get it back and I’m confused about whether this guy is my friend anymore. Or if I should stop talking to him.

I want to win the powerball tomorrow. I’m still friends with my ex boyfriend who hugged me and said he loved me after I dropped him off from getting sum smokes at the gas station. Two diff people bought me cigarettes and my ex put $20 in gas when I was negative $368 lol I have good friends and a good home. I wish I couldn’t stayed at the shelter but I didn’t feel like it was right for me and my intuition jumped ahead of me and said I should take my stuff and go home and that I was in an unsafe area which I was.

It was a more sketchy neighborhood. I haven’t heard voices or seen anything since on Effexor alone at 75mg a day but when I adjusted my eyes things seemed to wave a bit

I might just be stressed or tired but I feel good I feel normal and I’m realizing my decisions. I’m thinking more rationally and like me but I’m nervous it won’t last and that something will happen to me?

Are you in a safe place now?

It doesn’t sound like any person is a friend if they talk you into selling a $1,000 laptop computer for $30. Avoid them.

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I’m thinking maybe get yourself more support. Offline support groups, tdoc etc. Which would be helpful after you have built up trust to use as a sounding block, so most of that doesn’t happen again.

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Where do you live? Do you have a DPSS there? Are you a client yet? If not, get back to me, and let’s get you headed where you can get some help.

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It’s just crazy all my dad cares about is me getting a job but doesn’t put much effort into giving me ideas. I’ve never held a full time job while in college he never pushed for it then. I’m trying to figure out where to start or secure my future he was upset that I came home from the shelter.

I moved back home but I’m still not getting enough sleep.

I agree that this is not a good friend. @StarryNight, were you also under the influence of any substance? This was not a rational decision. I am also concerned about your “good home” if you are being physically assaulted by your father. You may want to look into a managed living situation, or at the very least, having someone help you with your finances.

Good luck getting it sorted.

Pixel.

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I blocked that person. I’m trying to make changes to avoid bad people and users. My dad isn’t abusive we had a fight because I overdrafted my bank account by $380 which he paid for. I feel really bad about everything. I’m on Effexor now I’ve lost weight but I’m still worried that if I’m not on an anti psychotic for long enough it’ll come back but I don’t know what to do. My psychiatrist thinks I have bipolar but maybe it’s not and I’m fooling myself and him. I haven’t had hallucinations or delusions yet but after the medication change I did have a breakdown of sorts but maybe more of an adjustment and realization to my behavior which I’m coming more to terms with. I think abilify didn’t work because it made me so passive and numb that could have been why I became so compulsive and made such poor decisions because I couldn’t remember things and felt trapped. I feel more normal now but I don’t know how long this will last. It took 7 months without medication after I came off abilify I had a really bad relapse. I couldn’t do catholic high school anymore it was too much stress. I recall my descent into psychosis. It felt like I fell into a black hole and suddenly no one noticed me but in reality were probably very concerned. I was losing time like crazy one minute I spaced and looked up to see the whole school was in church and I had missed the announcement so I walked there alone confused. I kept thinking the teachers weren’t assigning homework because I failed to see if written. I thought they were lying because I was suddenly failing all my classes. The school had a counselor visiting who I thought was hired spec for me and when she wrote my parents for consent to talk and study with me I got really paranoid. All the students sounded monotone I felt so weird. I took a test and knew all the answers but I guessed and then everyone looked at my paper and copied me. In my carpool every car we passed honked loudly at us. When cars passed my class they kept honking loudly either it was spring break or a conspiracy but it felt like this weirdness had gripped everyone around me. The driver of my carpool spoke in a flat monotone voice and I thought maybe that everyone was being brainwashed by subliminal implanted messages in their car stereos. I could hear an entire thought paragraph of thoughts I had when I turned on the stereo and man that was freaky. In DC I kept hearing this is kmwfm or something in the sky and at a museum I tried to conceal the anxiety but I knew I was no longer on the normal spectrum then and thought in the future I was locked across the hall in a room being confined for being aware of time travel and then everyone seemed to be whispering indirectly to me saying shhhhhh she’s schizophreni but I just couldn’t shut it out or ignore it. I couldn’t control it then what makes me think I could control it now?

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