Life is starting to feel more real

I’m starting to question less “Why am I here?” or just the feeling of derealization…that everything is fake and blurry and I’m living in a dream. Ever since I increased my abilify to 25 mg the other day. My thinking is clearer, life is realer and my mood is better. I’ve never been so happy…


That’s great to hear :smile:


Happy for you. Thats great news.

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When I used to take 20 mg Olanzapine and 4 mg Resperidone

LIFE was awesome…


Awesome in a sence

I was very very passive,

no anger etc;

even though I was peaceful I didn’t have better conscious brain

Now after using Vitamin B6 + Sarcosine + Noopept + Selegiline 20 mg

I got a better brain.

Now, I am like a brilliant man with a dangerous disabling mind/brain disorder

back then I was like a loser man with a dangerous disabling mind/brain disorder

Back then I got fat like a balloon and had to go off meds — I mean no resperidone and 10 mg olanzapine

10 mg olanzapine is worse so much anger

Now 20 mg olanzapine okay

not using resperidone as it causes hormonal problems…

I don’t know if 30 mg olanzapine is good

I really want to be better but I am caught

between two boats

no increased dose/not another anti psychotic

and want to try something new may be another antipsychotic

No doubt large doses are good for brain/mind

but not for health

I had two deep moments of surreality in September. So beautiful was the weather & environment on my walks that I broke down crying. I have a deep appreciation for God’s art, at least the aesthetics of planets, and have developed a deep emotional connection to it all.

I feel like I’m de-transitioning from this world in preparation for the next. I’m not entirely sure, but I keep my hopes up.

congratulations… very cool… :thumbsup:

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