I wish I didn’t have to be apart of it.
I dont want to look back and realize I’m alone. I get attached to people heavily in a short amount of time. This is why I refuse to have friends. Im just a collection of chemicals in a sack of meat. A sack of ■■■■■■■ meat.
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I wish that sometimes as well. Just feeling like a bug. But i got the opposite like friends, partner and family.
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Life is too beautiful to let it pass by. I’m a social schizophrenic. I love to connect to people if I’m relatively sane and on meds. I love catching up with people.
Talking is good for schizophrenics. It makes you think outside yourself and it forces you to reply sensibly and in real time. It’s not easy and some struggle I agree and understand but you can always improve.
I do really well but that is after a lifetime of trying. I’ve tried and failed so many times it’s just nuts but every now and then you hit some marks and that stays with you. You live and you learn and one good interaction makes it all so worthwhile.
Don’t give up. Try harder.
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When you get older you got much more experience. Your fears won’t be the same.
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I’m non social and I feel I lack resilience but I’m still an awesome person. I’ve learnt what I can cope with and what may agrivate my symptoms. I enjoy talking though.
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It’s about the right balance I trust. Depends if you are more of an introvert or extrovert. As long it makes you happy. Some people seek loneliness to be happy. What is a blessing for one is a curse for the other.
Maybe you get attached heavily because you feel that you need to socialize a bit, find people who you can rely isn’t easy, it takes time and patience.
Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t exist as well, but then I think on the good moments that I had in my life. I know they are not going to come back, but I’m hopeful that someday I could feel the joy of living again, even if it is only for a few days.
…that it makes me want to puke in happiness.
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… that I revolt in the presence of others self loathing.
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