Life is full of upside down and right side up

Hey you! Missed you all!

I have been wanting to come on here and post, maybe talk to some one. The beginning of the month I get my injection for my issues. Those first few days, huh, I am in it or out of it. At first everything is glowing. Like everything has an aura. That lasts a few days. I am also very extremely dizzy and disoriented immediately after I get my shot. A few days of just weird and I am fine again. I wanted to reach out and see if anyone else is on Invega and if they experience similar side effects. My friend is on it and has some interesting side effects too.

After that my month had gone to the pisser. I had noticed a lump beginning to form at the top of my spine, just at the middle of the neck and down. My lower back is also in pain. Horrible pain. I made am appointment to see my doctor. When I saw him he was thinking maybe it’s a fatty tissue pocket because I have lost 30lbs. but I had lost that weight so slowly, it didn’t make sense. So he comes over to exam the area and immediately says “Oh no. This is a tumor”. My hearty began to sink as they brought in the ultra-sound machine to check it out. He showed me where it was and how it appeared to be wrapped around my spinal cord. He is hoping it is a lypoma, a fatty fibroidous benign tumor. He set me up with a surgeon on July24th. For a consultation and testing.
Monday I was in the hospital because the pain in my lower back, was so terrible, that I had to go to the hospital. My doctor said I wasn’t sitting right, I didn’t look good, get to the hospital and get your entire spine checked. He called ahead to let them know I was coming and why.
I go to the hospital and they can clearly see I am in pain. They take me right back. They give me a shot of steroids and dilaudid in the arm. Nothing. This time they give me a mg. through I.V. and instantly I feel relief. They inform me that they are not going to do any scans of my spine due to the fact that they did them in November. I was thinking, that was 8 months ago, and since then a tumor has grown at the top of my spine and god only knows what’s happening to my lower spine. So they drugged me and sent me home.

I returned to the hospital last night because the passion was so awful and my kids were catching on that something was wrong. So we left and said I was going to a friends and returned to the hospital. The doctor I got was awesome. He got me comfortable. Could only X rays to check my spine but said they could only do MRI if it was an emergent situation. They said we already know that you have severe back problems and we think the pain is just exacerbated at this time. Sent me home with more pain meds and now here I sit. In an uncomfortable body. Trying to hide from my kids the fact that I want to break down crying any minute.
My doctor, neurosurgeon, and my surgeon are trying to get me a script that would allow them to have a full MRI scan of my entire spinal area.

Now it’s just the waiting game.

Blessed be

Echomoon, Sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you.

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I’m sorry your going through this much pain. I am glad to hear that you ended up with an awesome doctor. I’d say, be open with your kids.

Kids are smart and can handle a lot… know that your back is in pain would be a lot easier for them to take then thinking you didn’t like them.

I had to learn that the hard way when my sis was tiny. Just hiding from her made her think I didn’t like her. but letting her know I wasn’t feeling well… she could understand that a lot better.

I do hope you feel better soon and get some relief from all this.
Good luck… and best wishes as well.

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Thank you Skims and SurprisedJ.

I have been hanging out with the kids. My daughter and I are about to bake a cake from scratch. I have been in remission for 10 years. I don’t want them to worry that I am sick again. Especially my daughter. She is autistic and very sensitive. I don’t want her thinking mommy is going to be sick or die.None of those thoughts do I want my children to have. If it comes down to it that, yes, I am truly sick, then we will sit them down and have a talk.
They are so smart though and pick up on everything. Like they can tell my back must be hurting because of how I move maybe? I try so hard to look like I’m fine, ya know. IF anything, they know my back is still bad. That’s all I think they need to know right now.

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I can imagine your pain and fear. I have a disease called rheumatoid arthritis, where my body attacks my joints and bones. It advanced so quickly that it progressed to my thoracic and lumbar spine. The pain can be horrific, even with pain medication.

And for the first few months that my body was attacking my spine, no one knew what was going on. There were a lot of scary diagnoses being thrown around. I was terrified.

Because of the pain, I was extremely assertive in getting full-spine MRIs. And also very direct with my doctors that my pain needed to be treated adequately.

I didn’t have anyone to advocate on my behalf, so I had to become my own advocate and fight with insurance companies and hospitals.

I hope you are able to be assertive too, and get the diagnosis and treatment that you deserve.

I’m sending healing thoughts your way.




Sorry you are going through so much pain right now. Hopefully the doctors and hospital will be able to do something for you. I’ll pray for you.

soo sorry to hear ur news hunni. fingers crossed that it’s benign. xxx

I hope you’ll get your back squared away soon. I’m sorry you have to go through so much pain in the meantime. Best wishes to you for your healing.