I’m back to taking Abilify. I had a few bouts with paranoia, mostly because of the different medications I was put on like Vistaril. But also the lack of Abilify. Anyways, this holiday season i want to be certain I won’t have any episodes or paranoia, so I will be taking Abilify consistently for awhile. It definitely helps with the paranoia and irrational fears, for certain, has always made me think at my best logically.
Two nights ago I began having sleep paralysis, which made me realize that I was messing with a force that I could not conquer alone, and so I took the medication that night with the hope that I will be able to get back to a consistent regimen.
I had the realization after I was suspended, also, that smoking is bad and is actually counter-intuitive and does make symptoms worse.
My brother told me under no circumstances can I smoke weed, and now I am making slow progress but I have been making changes to cut off the influence of people who smoke weed. My brother is the one who knows me best. So his advice I take above all else, after all he grew up with me when my symptoms began manifesting. He told me never to give up and he was twelve when he said that I would get better, and that I should never give up!
So I owe it to him to follow his advice, and avoid all drugs no matter what. I need to remain committed to my recovery even when I am doing well. Because we can slip so fast into delusions and paranoia, and that’s the point in Bipolar and Schizophrenia. It’s easy to become sick again.
