Letting It Go

I have read a thousand pages on the topic of forgiveness, and letting it go. But I still struggle with certain things at times.

After I broke my neck, about a year in, both insurance companies… My car insurance company, as well as my work insurance… Went to town on me. I was cut off everything and basically was going to lose everything and wind up on the street soon.

That would be hard enough, but with the trauma of the accident and resulting brain and spinal cord injuries, I was on absolute overload. When I was released from the psychiatric hospital after a 3 week stay, I asked my dad, and two of my sisters to please lend me enough money so that I could afford to fight the insurance company for 6 months on their own terms. I was told that was how long it would take to be reinstated for benefits. Otherwise, I was at their Mercy. They were basically guaranteed to have their money repaid, once the suit settled

None of them helped me. I think maybe that’s when my spirit finally broke. Everything got to be too much. My entire world was crumbling, and it just felt like nobody gave a ■■■■.

I struggle at times to forgive them, I like to think they simply didn’t realize how bad things were with the brain injury. But then, I know if the situation were reversed, I would have been there for any of them.

I didn’t realize forgiving was such a long and Winding Road


Hey. Yeah that is tough matey. I’m not sure of the finances but dealing with insurance companies in the American market is hard. My ex mrs worked in insurance legals and they are vultures. I’m sure your family would have helped if they could but trying to bankroll that would have been tough…I am just assuming the costs would have been severe…

I know it’s tough but it’s one of those things. Family is good and important and worthwhile maintaining. There may have been issues you weren’t aware of at the time! I’m sorry you have suffered.


I say don’t rush it. It sounds like you went through hell, and that can leave emotional scars. The fact that you are progressing along the winding road is a good sign.

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@rogueone yes, the insurance agents are rather reptilian in my opinion. I’ll leave that one alone, I’ve ranted about it so much in the past.

That’s the part that makes it so hard to forgive. All three of them were in a position to help me financially, and like I say they would be guaranteed to be repaid. My sister said that Dad was just trying to teach me a lesson. I can only assume she’s talking about managing one’s finances, or getting one’s way all the time. But these were extreme circumstances, and the fact that they couldn’t see how extreme things had gotten blows my mind

I turn the tables in my mind, and can only imagine what an ■■■■■■■ I would feel like if I refused to help my own flesh and blood. Apparently, they don’t see it the same way

@Pat6398 thanks for the reassurance. At least I’m heading in the right direction anyway … finally


Apologies. Not familiar with the history but that is tough. Yeah. I benefited by family help in the past. I actually lived overseas in the US for two years when the exchange rate was 50 cents in the dollar. I’m still paying that off now.

I’d be pissed about that too if someone was trying to prove a lesson. I’m glad my family isn’t like that and that is the hard thing. You can’t pick your family but you can pick your friends…not trying to be insensitive. I hope your in a spot to move forward. That really is hard to fathom.

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I have forgiven them to a large degree, simply because I know that’s what Mom would have wanted. There’s a great saying,

Everyone will hurt you eventually… It’s just deciding which ones are worth suffering for

I must admit, sometimes it ain’t eas

Edit. My dad was military, 25 years in the Air Force. He was used to survival training, and all things extreme. The mindset might seem alien to some

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Much peace. I’m glad you can get to that point in your life but living ain’t easy sometimes.

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Thank you, and thank you

Seriously, as a person with ■■■■■■ up genetics I resonate with this so much. 3 months ago, my doctor realized that I had hyperreflexia, a sign of neurological damage. I asked if this was due to my disc herniation, and he said no. And then we couldn’t find the genetic mutation but the hyperreflexia is still there. Then he refers me to the genetic testing team and said they’re running a clinical trial. [cue 3+ months of waiting; I’m still waiting for to this day.]

Also I got rejected by my child and adolescent specialist clinic for neuromuscular diseases’ doctor because he said he was not “qualified” to rate my disability, but he has been treating me for a year.

When you get an injury, disability, or something…insurances and doctors don’t generally try to help. I’m at their mercy, but they don’t do anything except just say “sorry, we can’t help. no medicine and no cure, nothing. Sorry.”

I think a lot of people with genetic diseases just get tired of this ■■■■ happening over and over again. My friend had to fight for a year to get her wheelchair reinstated…

It really sucks. I really hate it so much.

And this is why I’m typing this because I’ve faced literally everything you just wrote here. And I don’t want anyone else, even my worst enemy, to go through this. It really sucks.

I’m sorry that you’re in that situation too. How is the situation with the insurance company and all? Are you recovering well after your injury? I’m just glad yours isn’t progressive because mine is.

Hang in there. You’re not alone.

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@laetitia thank you so much, that really does help. I mean I’m obviously sorry to hear all the ■■■■ they have put you through, but it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one out there.

Life is finally getting better. It’s taken 20 years, but I feel I have truly turned a corner in the right direction. People like yourself help make it possible

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It’s okay. Things are slowly getting better for me too. Although I’ve been told that I’m just getting started, I’m going to try my best to fight against the degeneration process.

It’s going to be very difficult, however.

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Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean thinking what happened is okay.
It’s about acknowledging that a bad thing happened, and deciding to no longer be angry about it.


I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been on you. Are you ok now? Do you have means to take care of yourself?

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