Hi everyone, so I thought I would share a little exercise that has helped me calm down so much! It makes me cry just reading it, but crying happy tears, cause this is something I’ve always needed to hear but never got to hear! I’m doing some inner-child work, and I started today. I call these “Letters to 12 Year Old Jake.” I currently live with my Father, and I cannot get along with him, but I want to learn how to get along and how to move on from something my Father did to me back when I was 25. My Father loves me, but doesn’t show it very well if at all. And, my other brother, loves me, but he’s too busy trying to live his own life. So, I’ve decided from here on out, I’m giving myself some much needed self-love. If the very people I live with refuse to show any sign of affection, then I have to give my own self affection. And that’s ok. I’m 35 years old, and yes, I need hugs, I need kisses, I need compassion, I need innerstanding, something that doesn’t happen a lot around here. So, that is what I decided to do. I hope that as you read this, that maybe this is something you can put in your self-help arsenal. I don’t have enough money for therapy, but maybe I can be my own therapist. I dunno how much this can help me, but maybe this’ll inspire you to give you all the praise and love that you desperately crave. We all want to be loved, and they say that the answers to all of life’s worries and troubles are inside of you. So, I’m digging deep and finding the answers myself. There are some things I intentionally left out, to make sure I am following the rules of the forum. I don’t want anyone to feel terrible, nor do I want anyone to get triggered. I hope this helps you all:
Dear Jake,
Hey sweetheart! This is the future you. Can I just say how proud of you I am? You have come oh so far, but there were things you needed to hear that you were never told.
When you were growing up you had good intentioned parents. They raised you the best way they knew how, but, they never gave you the emotional healing you desperately needed. You see, your parents were problematic. Yes, they were socially acceptable problematics, but they were problematic, and because they were problematic, they were always emotionally unavailable. This is because, unfortunately, your parents were repeating a problem their previous generation had, which was being problematic. This is why you became problematic yourself. You became problematic because you just wanted some relief from the crazy demands this life through at you. And you have always felt abandoned. I know how hard you worked as a child. Your Father worked you all the time. You didn’t have a normal childhood. You were basically forced to grow up fast, and now that you are an adult, you are expected to do adult things. Kind of hard to do adult things when you never had a proper childhood to begin with. Yes, your Father was a fantastic provider, but without the emotional connection there, you struggled.
Throughout your life, you have gone through a lot. All you wanted, when you were little, was to be loved for who you were. The problem was you were never allowed to just be you. And now that you have questioned everything and now that you have figured out, for yourself, what it is you want to believe in, the world is now truly yours! And, it’s ok, I can be your cheerleader! We’re going to get through this the best way we know how, and we’re going to take each day a step at a time.
I love you Jake. I love you. I truly mean it. You can be whatever you want to be around me without fear or judgement, cause love doesn’t operate off of fear or judgement. Love is about freedom and truth! So, keep loving people and loving things around you. Don’t look at things that make you feel sad, but at the same time, don’t be afraid to be sad either. Remember, I am your parent right now, and I will make sure you are well taken care of. Now enjoy your night baby, I love you and I want you to truly know that.
-Future Jake
she has a lovely voice .