Lets hear some funny hospital stories

The hospital I was in looked just like the one from the movie one flew over the coo coo’s nest.

One night I was laying in bed hearing voices and couldn’t sleep. This naked guy comes into my room hopping like a bunny rabbit going meep meep meep. An orderly came running out of no where and tackled him. As the orderly dragged him out of my room all I heard was MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP all the way down the hallway.


Let it lose, let it lose was the doctors comments, I was like as though I was used to it letting it lose. For anal fissure he was checking it :sweat_smile::joy::joy:

This is part serious. In the hospital, one day they herded several of us into a room and showed us a film on a woman giving birth from start to finish. It was very graphic and they showed close-ups in extreme detail. I was watching and about half way through I started to feel a little weird. I started feeling dizzy and everything started turning black. I knew I was about to pass out so I got up and left.

I don’t know why they showed us that. The incident wasn’t funny at the time but I can see the the humor in it now.

The hospital would have dances with a record player for music. They were always trying to get me to dance but I always refused. I was 21 and tbh, I had only danced once before in my entire life.
But this one night they were holding a dance in the cafeteria and I finally caved and danced with this girl. But not just any girl, this woman was about my age and she was the prettiest girl in the hospital.

It was a slow dance and I just shuffled around on my feet like everybody else was. She was petite and I just remember how great it was to hold her and she felt so fragile and delicate. Then a new song came on and it was a fast song. I looked at the girl and I kinda laughed and said I really don’t know how to dance to a fast song. She looked at me and said, “You’re weird!”.
WTF! I didn’t think I said anything wrong and to hear that from the prettiest girl in the hospital was too much. I was totally surprised and she caught me completely off guard and I was crushed.
It hurt my feelings. I just turned and walked out and I didn’t actually cry but I felt tears welling up.

Then the weird part happened. I walked out and I walked way down the hall to the smoking room which was deserted. I sat down on a bench really feeling sorry for myself. But then the woman walks in. She was wearing a hospital gown and she walks right up to me and sat in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I’m pretty sure I knew what she wanted. But for some reason I can’t fathom even to this day I didn’t do anything! It was a golden opportunity and I blew it and after a couple minutes she got up and left. And then the next day she got back to ignoring me as usual and life went on.


I was having sex with my psychiatrist.

Well, that’s what I was thinking at the time.

We had these towels for when we took showers. Not full size but not small either. Some of the guys would take a towel and fold it to look like a French Foreign Legion hat and walk around the hospital all day with these towels wrapped around their heads.

My friend was a receptionist at a hospital with a psycj ward. One day, a guy with a cowboy hat and a long fake nose came out of the ward, walked up to the front desk, and made eyecontact with her while taking off the nose. He placed it on the desk, tipped his hat, and walked off.

That is some story.
Well written @77nick77

Like something out of a novel!

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