Learning What My Thoughts Were Was the Biggest Turning Point in Life. They’re my brains, and learning what the brain is is crucial too.
I was taught to believe that thoughts were nothing like this, and I was so messed up until I realized. I cannot not find the words to say how much that turning point is worth. Wait, no, I can, but you’ll never read me all the way. LOL
Do you know what’s really fascinating me right now?
DATING!!!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes, there are dating apps, and there are dating helpster videos all over the internet, and so many other things to make money on a computer from home.
I want to learn women inside and out, and then I want to meet so many of them, that I have an honorary masters degree in sociality.
There are 3 mother lodes in life:
- Morality
- Logic/Philosophy
- Sociality
I had a ton of Morality in my life. Probably so much I suffocated myself. I have had a ton of Logic and Philosophy in recent years, and I’m almost full. Sociality though.
I have to really focus on sociality as in having fun with people simply for the purpose of having fun. I know what my thoughts are. I know what they aren’t. I know it’s the same in every other person. Now, I want to go put all of these things I know into practice with beating myself up like a regular scz.
What I love about the new way I know myself “under the hood” is that my thoughts can’t beat me up so badly that I can’t go get with the crowds, and play around, having fun, and grow like I’ve needed to for a long time.
I teach a little course about information, logic, and minds. Everything in your mind is absolutely just like a sentence as far as grammar and logic go. Until you check every sentence in a book that you wrote about your mind, you will have grammar mix ups, and illogical fallacies all the way through it. That’s what having a disorder is; it’s “fallacies and rhetorical disorder.”
No one whether scz, normie, nor any other disorder can break it all down, and begin building higher until they really sort out just what these “thought things” are that have been a part of them the entire time they were here. And the saddest is that they may never do it, and they may never have an honest perception of thoughts, nor themselves, nor anyone else now, in history, or anywhere.
Check the grammar: define all of the words. In brain language the feelings and everything else in the brain is grammar. It’s brain grammar. Make sure you define it all, and there is no confusion. This takes time and a little concentration which is usually when you can lay there, and close your eyes for hours sorting these things out over a few months perhaps.
Check for realism: Every thought and feeling is a representational phrase that represents something else. You can read a book’s sentences that represent other things, watch a movie that represents other things, or your mind that represents other things including what is in the mind and in the body. In each case you must identify the subject in the context of the representational sentence, movie scene or spoken line, or that thought or feeling. Identify what the predicate/s is which is what describes what the subject is being or doing. Now check them to see if they are real. This may take some research. You have to know absolutely that they are real, or you cannot use them in your brain. Then see if the predicate realistically fits the subject. If it all checks out okay, they it’s healthy. If not, then it’s fallacy or what we can call sci fi or fallacy. That’s doing mental hygiene.
I think of my mind partially like an AI. It is automatic, and it is automatic for everyone. It thinks and feels things that I did not want it to just like for everyone not just sz’s. In my case I made my brain’s AI become social adept and survivalistically adept in a fake world of fake telepathy and fake creatures. I did this ritually to the point that my mind was simply fetching for me automatically what I totally believed was real because I was taught to believe in telepathy from the time I was a kid, and as far as how to survive and how to succeed socially I was never told anything.
The AI talks in voices and in feelings anywhere from in my head to my azs to me feet. It is manipulative just like real AI’s are. It can be hyperactive, seditious, and insidious. It becomes quite a lot like a cannibalistic predator corralling my perspectives and feelings to the point it makes me paranoid and dementia, and then it just nails me over and over.
I really couldn’t see this happening as clearly as I can now when I see everything I sense and feel coming from the brain, and I know the brain, mind, information and logic science, and philosophy etc by heart to the point I can teach a class on this stuff.
I’m developing a firm sense of those pains and crazy feelings, those controlling features, and the paranoia etc that my brain’s AI has been doing all along against me is from in my brain as well as the sight, hearing, etc. My knowing this all of the time destroys that sz garbage that it has been putting over on me for many years. Destroys it! It starts, and then it’s like I pull the power cord on it, and it shuts down. It will go for a race against me trying to “boot up,” and it can’t beat me any more.
It is a bout of the Julian Jaynes bicameral mind where that side of my mind is beating the undeserving other side of the mind like a camera trying to beat out another camera for domination and reproduction purposes. The problem for that thing is that it is killing itself, and it is not what it was taught to believe it is, and it is a product of the inner mental world of telepathic fantasies where nothing can reproduce at all. It’s kind of like an arm developed for a make believe world all in the mind, but what it should be doing is be being an arm for the real world and reaching out to other people instead who are in external reality. I’m working on that.
Therefore I’m working on dating. I’m getting focused, and it’s peaked my interests. I’m going to turn this “monkey on my back” around the right way.
Thanks for reading 