Schizophrenia.com

Large Families... the good & bad

Continuing the discussion from Delusional thinking on these boards:

My wife comes from a family that has happily contributed to overpopulation issues and clump up worse than kitty litter. This incessant visiting with each other is making me bonkers. Pixel.
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With my 4 siblings… (some in-laws) my Dad’s many siblings… my Mom’s many siblings… (NO our last name is NOT Dugger) I get how overwhelming an overly large family can be… especially if the person they are with comes from a very small family.

My girlfriend comes from a small family… two parents… one older brother, one younger brother… that’s it… my overtly large family can get to her in a big way. (tsunami) (invading army) (murder of ravens)

I do feel that having such a large family has kept me from isolating… because it’s hard to isolate in a very large and interactive family… plus I don’t get lonely much. Even when I was at my worst… I had cousins who did interact with me.

I do feel that my brood of Aunts helped my Mom a lot. When my Mom HAD to go back to work… Many of my Aunt’s helped out…

But at the same time… when I have no energy… and I just can’t get the motivation for socialization… the party comes to me… then I have to be rude and send my Sis out to be the socialite while I hide in the garden.

I used hate coming from a large family… the constant drama… and visiting … and hive of activity…

But looking back… being born in to that constant level of forced interaction might have helped me out in the long run…

Good luck @MrSquirrel and I hope you can find a “car to tinker on” a project that “just can’t wait” an urgent “errand” that requires a long drive … (I usually go all the way across town and walk through the park to a Mom and Pop shop for Ice.)

I know they probably want to make you jump out of your skin… but Mini Pixel will have a good support system through life… (that appreciation usually comes after eye rolling teen years)

Good luck with the large family. :v:

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I’m just wearing out. I’d like to be able to spend one Christmas day in my own home and enjoy it, not have to race off to spend yet another horrid X-mas with the in-laws moaning about how the children won’t take over the farm. We actually did try to help out, but by ‘children’ they mean ‘son’, not ‘daughter’ (my wife). Their boy has no interest in taking over the farm. We thought we could temporarily keep it going until the son maybe had a change of heart, but even that was too much.

So we go and spend the entire day listening to them complain about how nothing is the way it used to be, everything has changed, the neighbors are horrible, etc., etc. It’s very negative. I have a condition that is made worse by being immersed in negative. Really just want to spend Christmas Day in my own home with my wife and kid watching silly X-mas movies, playing Operation, and eating too much shortbread. Apparently this desire is unhealthy.

Pixel.

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Negative in-laws… there is nothing quiet as frustrating as being the outsider in that situation… Nothing ever done is good enough… you’re poor wife…

I see that with a few of my relatives… nothing and no amount of effort ever pleases… and they play the victim… (oh we’re so forgotten… even thought we’ve been visited everyday this week)

most of my family tries to be kind and decent people… but of course there are some sour apples in every tree

That sounds like how my sis and I spend boxing day.

I have a feeling your wish will happen… very soon… too bad there wasn’t a way to cut the deal between the days… if Christmas Day has to be spent with the family… you get the 24th and/ or the 26th off

My Gf says that my side can have one or the other… If we do thanksgiving on my side… her side get’s the winter holidays. Or vice versa… that seems fair.

I hope peace comes to you soon… Good luck again… navigating a large family as an In-law is a very tricky business… (my gf keeps telling me this)

Seems this thread was made with me in mind. No, not really, but I couldn’t help but smile at you two’s responses. MY family, as in mother’s and father’s family, are all gone save for 3 cousins (whom I don’t along with) and 2 uncles. The rest are dead, or living in Siberia or some damn place. Here we go…

My wife’s family is big. She also has an “adopted” with another 2 or 3 family trees to keep track of. But my beef is not with them - it lies squarely with my in-laws. I think you two know how I feel about my in-laws, so I won’t wear out my keyboard rehashing all that. My only escape is to close the door and hope the music isn’t too loud to permeate through the walls. Oh man, if my BIL hears my music, he flips his $hit. He can hear it through the wall when he’s in the bathroom (which also works in the opposite direction - I get to hear every noise coming out of the bathroom). Makes me want to run away. I don’t want to belabor the crazy fascist political crap BIL espouses, but I can’t eat until we say grace. One day, because I was simply hungry, I yelled out “Grace!” and started eating. Screw it.

There is no vice versa in our home. Mrs. Pixel interprets my having no family to spend holidays with as increased incentive for me to spend all of our holidays with hers. Because, obviously, no one wants to spend a holiday without family. This is probably our biggest area of contention and I do realize she is trying to be helpful to me because that is how she was raised and thinks, but… I really would be very happy to dodge her parents every second Christmas. And her friggin’ HUGE multitude of cousins, only a few of which are worth talking to.

Pixel.

I feel the same way. It does help us to socialize. Even when I was kind of hiding from my family, I was still surrounded by work people.

Aw, man. I’ll not pray for you at my upcoming progressive get together. :wink: