To me, they are related. Because if you lack trust you want to stay away and low self esteem opts out.
I imagine some lack trust because they lack self esteem. It’s probably hard to believe that others like you if you don’t even like yourself.
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Also, if you have been hurt by another, it changes your view of man in general. A perfectionist hurt me. I got the idea that everybody was going to make impossible demands.
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Whenever I relapse out of my eating plans I feel upset, and it is like I cannot trust myself to stick to something that is so important to me. It does reduce my confidence but this is maybe a bad attitude since it is perfectionist attitude,
but then again it is very serious, I could be in line for an early heart attack so the upset part is justifiable but idk if I should be feeling low self confidence?
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Being upset is okay, but I think it’s important to remember that your weight, your size, even your overall health, doesn’t determine your value as a person. Being unhealthy doesn’t mean that you deserve to hate yourself. It’s good to make healthy choices and to recognize your shortcomings, but you don’t have to feel like a shĂt person over it. Mental stress contributes to poor health just a much as physical stress does.
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Thankyou so much, @Sardonic, it is good to hear someone else say that.
I think that is the hard part, if I continue in a bad habit for a long long long time, I would defo feel ■■■■, because I feel like I should be more disciplined. (again I am not referring to others since I am not in other’s shoes) But at the same time I understand that habits can be hard to undo since they are so hardwired in the brain, it is not a smooth journey so I need to be forgiving towards myself.
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I believe some people like me sometimes but my brain can’t handle being liked to much. It overloads my brain. I had a really good phone meeting with my case worker about two months ago. It just went really well and I surprised her by saying a few funny things and she even laughed and told me I’m funny and the rest of the interview went great. I needed to talk to her two weeks later and I called and when she picked up the phone she was really happy to hear from me and was really friendly.
As soon as I realized it shocked me and I folded like a cheap suit. I couldn’t handle it. I hemmed and hawed through the rest of the phone call and it turned her off. She was still polite but I know she was wondering what was going on. This still happens but not all the time. I really liked her though and making myself and her look bad really depressed me.
It’s like we can’t take a compliment or accept love. It really threatens us so we shut down.
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If you won’t talk about others that way, then why talk to yourself like that? You’re a human being too and you deserve compassion.
@77nick77 that sucks. I think if it happens again you should be honest with your case manager, that way she’ll understand and you won’t feel so bad knowing that someone gets it and doesn’t just think you’re a butthole.
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Thanks. Yeah, I can see telling her I guess.
The sad thing is that for that second that I realized she was happy to hear me it felt really good.
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Because other peoples self confidence are not so affected by how they eat. But mine is. And I think I can do better now so therefore I need to do so.
But yea I do forgive myself when I relapse from my eating plans. Its just the future is unknown and I get concerned about long term irreversible effects on my health. Anyways today is a new day and I will try and hope for the best
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