Today I went to an art exhibition in Tokyo with a friend. I’m not really good at using public transport so I was a little bit anxious. But for the last couple of months, I’ve been to some places like an art musium, cinema, classical concert, etc. on my own or with my mother, so little by little, I’m getting used to it. But I think I was a bit awkward today. I asked my friend “which way? which way?” when we were walking around the train station. I was embarrassed. I always wish I could be more used to public transport.
I was withdrawing from life in my teenage years and my early 20’s so I lack the social experiences most people my age naturally have. This might seem subtle to other people but a big obstacle to me. I feel discouraged even when I want to go out and get somewhere.
My friend is bi-polar, but she got her illness in her 30’s so she has work experiences and everything during her 20’s. So she’s like a normal person, at least in terms of social experiences.
What other social experiences you think you lack, if any?
I still feel confused on the busses and wonder if I took the right one.
Most people my age know how to handle their money. I’m still learning.
Most people my age know how much things cost. I’m still learning
Most people my age know how to cook for themselves. I’m still learning
Most people my age just decide to go somewhere and then go. I have to over come an anxiety attack to go do new stuff.
I get turned around in a crowd very quickly and then end up going the wrong way, or getting off at the wrong stop all the time. So I have to study the route on the the bus and train tracker on the computer and then write out what stop I’m looking for. If there is a huge crowd pushing forward, I have to sit and and let the crowd clear out and then I can figure out where I’m going.
Tokyo is a big city. I live in just 22000 people town. I can understand that big city rules can be confusing. Once in 1984 I travelled in London at the age of 16 and I got lost almost in their subway ‘tube’.
I only feel safe going on routes that i know when it comes to buses. @SurprisedJ like you i am anxious about getting off at the wrong place and then becoming disorientated and lost. With trains knowing what stop to get off is easier but then there is the problem of navigating around once i get off the train . I am very restricted as to where i go even within the town i live in.
I suck at making friends who are like me. It’s hard to find someone very similar to me, it really is. The people on the powerlifting team seem cool, I have like 5 good friends, but some are not as good friends and are always busy or something or simply dont reply, but are really cool when I occasionally do see them.
I have anxiety, generalized, not social, but I know what you mean- I was super paranoid back in the day before my meds and couldnt stand people, didnt even leave my house except for cigarettes and gas or school and the gym. I live with my parents so I got away with that.
I am yet to have a successful romantic relationship, all I have had is sex buddies so far. Thats what hurts, I dont have anyone to love, I just have myself and schizophrenia to hate, which I actively do.
But I have a problem with PRIVATE transportation. I yell at cars and get really angry in traffic jams. It’s sorta funny. Like if the traffic is blocked up I end up getting absolutely irate and yelling ■■■■ a lot and flipping people who cut in front of me off.
Haha,your alpha,I always let people my cue,unless I am in a hurry,consider myself a woman when driving,lols,I always blame my driving skill to SZ,should stop blaming everything on sz,lols
Lolz you should take test boosters and give people the finger when they cut you off. Im sort of joking, test boosters might increase psychosis and Im a pissed of individual and dont need that stuff. Im surprised no one here in Memphis has stepped out of their car with a gun after I flipped them off hahahahaha
@mortimermouse,maybe your lucky,but not everyday is Sunday,haha
I only like getting buses I know and I don’t like public transport outside of my town and I don’t unless I’m with my mum or dad. I can’t stand the crowds and easily zone out.
I’m very awkward socially, I isolated myself after, I left school at sixteen and for the past few years my only company has been my mum or dad mainly and any mental health team people, but I’ve started at small classes and will be going to ‘real’ college in September two days a week (I’m currently doing a degree online, the course in september is like high school level which I missed out on). I get very nervous and can’t focus on more than one person talking to me, sometimes I can’t focus on one. I barely make eye contact with new people some like my nurse, I’ve known for years but don’t make much eye contact, I feel their judgement when they look at me so I don’t like it. I also twitch and rock when I’m bad, which makes me look plain odd. I get thought disorder too which exacerbates at times so that doesn’t help.
I’m very young as in independence like you @SurprisedJ I’m only just taking steps to cook for myself, help with chores, control my money, I still have a lot to learn though. My mum is going to help me, which I am so thankful for, I know she’s just being a mum but at my age other people wouldn’t need the help… I just try to justify it ‘I’ve been out of this world for years and I’ve only just landed back’
I think with schiz particularly if you get it young, you’re bound to have a developmental delay, it’s going to take a while to learn the things those your age can do naturally. Don’t focus on it too much, keep going forward and eventually you’ll be where you want to be, even if it may take longer than expected.
Go steady and take care,
I got SZ when I was 18 and fresh out of high school. I was pretty sheltered by my parents so never used public transport. I was going to go to varsity but never got there as I got sick and everything got put on hold. I never got a job either. Then four years later when I got better I wanted to be a nun, and for five years my parents took me to various cloistered convents. Except once time I went home alone on a 20-hour bus journey after my parents arranged a ticket for me with the nuns. After that last convent stay I became Muslim and it was only then that I had to get more independent - that was 2011. But I struggled with things like learning to drive and get a job and going on public transport alone. Then in 2012 I got my first real job - a part time casual shop assistant in a fabric store, and I got married and had to learn to drive. I only went on a train once and taxis a few times, but with a friend who was experienced with taking public transport. To this day I don’t know who to use public transport. A pity, because I don’t like driving and would love to learn to use the train and bus.
Ive always had social anxieties now that I think about schizophrenia has definitely made that worse. But Im off drugs now so I have chance to develop some real memories and trust in my social dexterity. I used to be so smart and able to think clearly now Ive got all these fears.
it is important to remember that ’ muggles ', ’ normal people ’ have trouble with life in general , they get confused, suffer from stress, have anxiety mild or other wise on public transport.
as sz we think we are an oasis of chaos but in reality everyone is fighting their own ’ mini ’ hurricanes…
I know some so-called normal people do have problems with public transport.
The problem is it’s hard to tell which problems are due to schizophrenia and which aren’t.
I have a really hard time on the bus and train. And on city streets. It feels hellish to me. The crowds of people, the noise. I have to commute 6 days a week for work. It doesn’t seem to get much easier over time. Someday I hope to live away from this large city and closer to nature.