Lack of sleep and heightened symptoms

My symptoms have been very hard to deal with lately I’m not sure what to do. Geodon doesn’t seem to be doing the trick by itself. I’d love to go back on Vraylar but my insurance won’t cover it even with a pre auth and I’m not sure my current income bracket would qualify for the patient assistance. I looked it up and it would cost me about $1500 a month and thats obviously not doable. If I could just get a decent nights sleep I think things would improve but with the PTSD, the nightmares, the restlessness, the inability to fall asleep, plus the hallucinations I’m experiencing at night I’m not sure what else to do at this point. I just want everything to be done with. Over. I’m tired of living right now. My parents aren’t showing much support, they don’t even know I’m back on medication in the first place. They are very anti medication. I’m just so depressed, and frankly I’m still suicidal. Just fantasizing about death and what it would be like to be out of pain. If anyone has words of advice they would be greatly appreciated…

You sound like you need to go to the hospital. How are you holding down your job with all those symptoms?

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I’m not doing very well in my job right now, not with how much I haven’t been sleeping. I missed two days last week due to being “sick” but I think I was sick due to lack of sleep. I don’t want to get fired, yet right now my 40 hour work week is proving to be way too much for me but I can’t afford to work less hours

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I take sleeping pills. I need them. Never used to. I take Lunesta. It’s generic now so should be cheaper but Ambien works for me too. Just gives me bad dreams.

I have tried everything else and that’s the only two things that work for me. But before I started taking Benedryl everyday it used to make me sleepy.

Maybe you can try that for tonight and start experimenting with sleep meds.

When life was most painful for me, I would have killed myself if I thought it relieved the pain. The teaching I had was that suicide doesn’t relieve the pain.

My life has been relatively sweet for decades now.

I have a variety of sleeping aids I’ve collected over the past year, Trazodone, Seroquel, Klonopin and benadryl. I’ve been mixing benadryl and Klonopin the past few nights just to get me to sleep but even then I’m up till almost 3 am each night. I might try 400mg of seroquel tonight because I have to work in the morning I’m just worried of not being able to wake up in the morning.

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Ughh Seroquel, I took that once. I got up to use the bathroom and after a few steps I passed out hit my head and woke up on the floor. That stuff is strong.

I don’t like taking it cause it causes weight gain

… Sorry love …

If I can just hang on till March 2nd, I have a normal doctors appointment as well as a pdoc appointment

I just took 1 mg Klonopin, 100 mg trazadone and 200 mg seroquel

Put on a good movie and try and get some sleep. You don’t deserve this kind of stress luv. The Klonopin should help.

I have to work in the morning, I don’t know how I’m supposed to work like this

Tommorow when your at work try and think about the last vacation you went on or where you want to traveled to and day dream a little bit. Don’t focus on anyone talking around you. We get better everyday.

I have to focus on those talking around me, I’m in the dental profession

Your strong and responsible with a opportunity to work that some don’t have. Don’t tear yourself down, believe in yourself.

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I just don’t see a point in living. Yet I have so much responsibility on me right now.

I know it sucks, I know it’s lonely at times and the constant why me. Your young beautiful with a wonderful future ahead of you. The older you get the tougher you’ll become. You won’t be like everyone else you’ll be rare because your a survivor.

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I take 25 mg of Seroquel to put me to sleep. But then I have to stay in bed sleeping for a long time the next day.

Did your doctor give you this permanently?

I was thinking of asking for this to help me sleep too