It’s been proven that being tickled by Labrador whiskers can bring one out of panic attacks and even some forms of psychosis, one independent study has learned.
The whiskers of an 8-12 week Labrador retriever puppy have healing qualities researcher has learned.
Pup must be asleep while participants face is thrust into the whiskers bringing almost immediate relief from symptoms. Scientists are hailing this new breakthrough as pivotal in understanding schizophrenia and anxiety related disorders and one was even quoted as saying, this amazing new treatment was literally “right under our noses”!
In the future scientists hope to replicate this feeling by breeding many more Labradors and ensuring that each and every person with major mental illness has access to these whiskers.
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One must be careful in procuring the whiskers from these dogs as they are protected by the ASPCA and much like cannabis cannot be bought or sold on the open market without first going through a series of legal hurdles. Also because of the unpredictable nature of the dogs. Great caution must be exerted while approaching a subject for harvesting if one wants to avoid being bittern.
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In fact, it’s a clever ruse my good man @everhopeful.
Thank you for your acknowledgement of my false news broadcast.
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