Knowing the Truth

I believe the key to sanity is knowing the truth. I got this from a Roman philosopher Epictetus. I rarely if ever know the truth. How sick am I ? I don’t know, I can convince mental health professionals I’m well, if I’m in a good mood and have had a lot of sleep and it’s early in the day. But I feel so awful otherwise and my mind just doesn’t seem to work. But sometimes I can read a whole hour. But then I might not be able to for a month or two. I am consistent in my guitar and mandolin practice, though I miss some days a month. Yesterday it made me so happy to play mandolin ( my favorite instrument ) and tonight I was just a little enthusiastic. I also like letter writing, snail mail. Who can’t write about the trivial things in life? I rewrite my letters and make them more interesting. How sick am I? I shouldn’t expect so much out of myself.

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I went out early in the evening. It’s after midnight here. I got depressed going out. I thought I was doing something good for myself. Does a person act like a wild animal if he never goes out of his apartment? I’m expecting too much, I was tired of being cooped up. I got exercise too.

I only go out for groceries, don’t enjoy walking anymore. has become aimless endeavor.

As for sickness, I don’t know. Everyone is different. Often I think I am fine, but im told I am not. Whatever. I do not feel good though, and no-one can know my feelings.

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