Kind of freaking out now

Stupid hollow mask thing is making me doubt my DX. Like I’m legit feeling shame/guilt like what if I don’t actually have SzA? Because I fail the test, and everything is like, “If you fail this test you’re not schizophrenic” Like really? Then I see this was a legit study and I’m confused as hell. Am I making it all up? Am I forcing symptoms onto myself or something? What the hell? I don’t have the Sz symptoms as severe as I see many, but now I doubt that I’m having them at all.

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Hey brother how are u …!!! my diagnosis still linger amongst bipolar Szaffective …!!!
I have almost all negative symptoms…!!! Consult ur pdoc as soon as possible…!!! If sooner will be better …!!!

I have a formal dx… that isn’t the issue :confused: but thanks for your concern.

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Which states are u from …???

What are your symptoms?

The biggest most constant are paranoia and delusions of varying severity. A few nights ago my paranoia of someone being in my house was so strong I could neither leave my room nor sleep. I have on rare occasion had auditory hallucinations but only with the accompaniment of white noise (I do not hear things in white noise most of the time). The most common was hearing music of various types since I was a teen. A month or so ago I actually heard people whispering/talking but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Visual hallucinations have always been very minor ‘its breathing’ kind. growing/shrinking ever so slightly kind of stuff. I mean, there are lots more. I keep a journal… Some others are hearing things people say occasionally as jumbled nonsense. As if they spoke a different language. I get accused of mumbling now and then but to me I sounded fine. I stay in my head most of the time, in fantasy, i space out in thought a lot and people ask me if I’m ok lol.

Edit: At times I can’t get what I’m thinking out, it comes out broken and I get so frustrated I just say nevermind and give up.

I don’t know why you are freaked out. You have negative symptoms and positive symptoms. It doesn’t change the medication that you are receiving. Maybe only if you are relying on a disability check I could see getting freaked out. So relax.

What is said a lot on the forum is to trust the psychiatrists. I hope you get what help you need.

I know this sounds really stupid and maybe im freaking out BECAUSE of the illness ^^; but its that stupid hollow mask illusion, I fail it, and people etc are saying if you fail it you aren’t schizophrenic. It suddenly made me feel like… a lie.

Do you hear auditory voices or see things that you didn’t used to see…? That aren’t really there?

Ive never had full blown stereotypical hallucinations of either type. Just the auditory with the combination of white noise, and when I’m at my worse I start seeing things ‘breathing’ more noticeably. I had a sleep doctor tell me that my visual hallucinations when waking up randomly in the middle of the night were psychiatric related and not sleep (As I don’t have narcolepsy)… They’re very rare though and were usually a giant spider coming down from the ceiling at me, or in the bed…fun times.

Do you just have the hallucinations when going to bed? Also if you don’t mind me asking how old are you?

Can you tickle yourself…I think that’s another one of those only Sz things…I don’t buy it…although I can tickle myself so idk…

The full blown visual hallucinations were only from suddenly waking up and like I was still dreaming, I believed what I saw until my brain ‘woke up’ after a minute or so.

I’m 28.

The “That picture is breathing and it shouldn’t be” Stuff happens more regularly, though is more pronounced when my symptoms get severe. The last time I had a full blown Rage psychotic break, a picture I looked at seemed to be distorting/melting slightly.

Yes I can tickle myself around my midsection/side area, thought everyone could xD

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I’m just like…what if I’m MAKING myself see and experience these things? WHat if its all a lie, im just crazy cause i believe im crazy, kind of thing. Do a lot of people with Sz feel these ways with the doubt??

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Yup mostly when we start to feel better…or hit a low spot…but if you can tickle yourself that holds as much weight as the mask thing…

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I have been feeling pretty derealized lately and paranoid… just…freaking out. It was my last therapist that once I saw her she was like, yea im pretty sure youre SzA not just BP. That was simply off the knowledge that I have paranoia and delusions in absence of mood episodes. I just… I dont know maybe this all stems from guilt that how can I have such a label when other people have Sz FAR worse?

Like compared to what im reading of other peoples experiences how can I dare have such a label, I’ve never known the extreme torment others with Sz do.

Don’t worry everybody has varying degrees of SZ. I hear hallucinations all the time if it wasn’t for my medication. So now I only hear it at night. However some people have it worse than me. I wonder how if would be to have visual hallucinations. I only have a bunch of auditory and some tactile. It is like a spectrum disorder. It doesn’t make you not SZ if that is what you are afraid of.

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Yeah you probably just have a very mild form of sz. Or psychosis. If you aren’t on meds you might want to try an anti psychotic…

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I’ve tried multiple, sadly my body refuses to tolerate them -at all-. I just deal best I can. I’m on disability thankfully, stress is the -biggest- trigger for my symptoms to flare up really bad. My moods are mostly under control though thanks to Lamictal, but the Sz symptoms didn’t go away with the moods. APs cause immediate TD symptoms, psych is on board with the risks outweighing the benefits in this case.