Just pondering.... Therapist

Have you ever not done a “homework” assignment a Therapist has given you? How mad did the Therapist get? This is a new guy and I’m trying to figure this new guy out.

My kid sis and I are in co-therapy and it’s not easy. I’m trying to do the “homework” assignment he gave us and I’m really having a hard time with it. I’m trying to figure out the consequences of the pro’s and con’s of doing the homework and not doing the homework.

I’m supposed to write a list of everything I don’t like about her and want her to change so we can work on changing it.

She is supposed to write that same list about me. She already said there was NO way she was going to do that. So I’m trying to figure out how to write a “10 thing’s I hate about you” list.

If I really did write this list of what I don’t like about her, I might hurt her feelings. But Therapy is a painful biz… you have to expect some tears. This could get awkward.

Has anyone pissed off their therapist?

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I’m not going to write anything like that! What a STUPID assignment.

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The assignment should be 10 things you love, then you could both write pages I’m sure.

I agree with sis.


Yeah J, I agree with what Barbie wrote. It should be more positive - the list should include what you guys love about each other, not dislike. I personally - if it was me, would consider another therapist. It is not a positive homework assignment

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First, I’m a slacker so I don’t think I’ve ever actually done anything a therapist has asked me to do outside the sessions. I don’t remember any of them ever making a fuss about it.

Second, remember that therapy is designed to bring up topics that we normally don’t recognize or that we avoid. I’m not going to say one way or the other that this assignment is a good one, but a good therapist will draw you out from your comfort zone to make you think about things you normally wouldn’t.

If you like seeing this therapist, and this therapist has done a lot of good things for you in the past, maybe in me telling you about seeing a new therapist could be viewed as being a bit harsh. This would be between you and sis.
I have been to a lot of therapists, I would prefer positive approaches as opposed to negative ones.
Sharing things you dislike in someone, could stir up negative emotions - If you feel uncomfortable with anything the therapist suggests or does, communicate your feelings to him

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We’ve only seen this guy 4 times now. He did lecture my kid sis a bit on not understanding SZ and sort of told her everything she was doing wrong in relation to me. That has made her clam up pretty tight these last two sessions.

Our normal family therapist takes a different approach. I’m still forming my opinion of this guy.

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I think that list is a bad idea. You should build up your relationship not tear it apart.

Me and my husband once sat down and we told each other what annoying things the other one did. But we were both ready to hear the truth and didn’t get hurt or angry. We did this without a therapist. It made things a bit easier because we did our best to not make those annoying habits stress out the other one.

You could say she becomes hyper when the snow comes and drives like a maniac. :car: :snowflake: :snowflake:

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My therapist has given me a couple of assignments. One was to read a book about neuroplasticity. The other was to masturbate more because I told him that I was hearing voices while masturbating. It worked, now sexual stimulation doesn’t trigger psychosis in me.

That was probably too much information.

But anyways about your co-therapy…just do it. It is uncomfortable, but healing can be a painful process. I would obey your therapist- I often trust doctors because I want to one day be a psychologist or an evaluator, and I know what their education was like.

that is a wierd assignment to be given, how about you both decide to write ten things you love about each other, and ten things you don’t like about him !
take care


Every time I read this I laugh. Thank you.

This idea is not going well in it’s present incarnation.

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that sounds pretty fkd up, i dont think that it would end well if you did,

your sis must think that she is doing everything she can to try and help you and has done everything she can since forever and she probably thinks she knows you better than most people, if she tells you what she dislikes about you that could really affect your mental health badly.

if you tell her things that you dislike about her she might think that you are being disrespectful and ungrateful after everything she has done for you and she might hate you for it.

i am just thinking out loud btw but i reckon there is alot more to this than meets the eye for both of you,

for an assignment to give someone this seems like one of the worst or one of the hardest to get to do ever, its a bit much for a first assignment, i couldnt do it and i probably wouldnt be able to but you have to make your own mind up about this thing think.

ask yourself ‘do i really want to do this?’ i mean is he forcing you to do it or something because if he is then that is unprofessional,


In my opinion this isn’t a good assignment or approach to be following. I agree with Sis.