Wasn’t sure where to put this, but I just need to get some things out of my head. I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks at work, as I have had to work more closely with other people, whereas ordinarily I do my job independently. This takes a lot out of me mentally and emotionally. On top of this my wife has been upset with me because 1) I haven’t been helping with the baby as much as I did with our other kids, which I admit is a valid complaint, but she is breastfeeding this time, which severely limits my ability to help out, and 2) she says we haven’t been “connecting” and that I haven’t been showing her that I love her. This is the part that trips me up. I realize that we haven’t been having sex, which has been ongoing since I’ve been on Risperdal, and which is something she wants and needs, but other than that I feel like I have been as affectionate and caring as I’ve always been. Maybe that isn’t the case and I just can’t see it, much like how she says I always look like I’m unhappy when inside I’m at least content. Idk, don’t have anyone but her IRL to talk to about things, and obviously in this case that wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I decided to vent here. Thanks.
I’m sorry you’re going through all of that! As a wife who has felt neglected at times, and who has researched the issue to check my feelings, I can tell you that’s something most wives seem to feel sometimes. When my husband just steps up the little things, like giving me a nice compliment, kissing me just because, offering to make dinner or take me out…these are little reassurances that help. Can your wife use a pump so you can feed the baby?
And then it’s important for her to be reminded in a gentle way that you’re having a tough time at work right now, so she can understand where your head’s at.
Someone wise once sent me a message that said “this too shall pass”. You’ll get through this time. 
️
Thank you, I appreciate it, and I will try to take your advice about being extra attentive. She has recently started pumping, so I have been able to give a couple bottles, but in the night she likes to just put her on her boob, and I never wake up (stupid meds), so she hasn’t been getting as much sleep as me. Also I think it’s possible that she is suffering from postpartum depression, as she has had it with some of our other children, but I don’t know what to do about that either.
Hi. I’m a mum to very young children. I was also a breast feeder… Just stopped(yay). I remember feeling neglected by my husband when my kids were babies. It helped to have him give me cuddles out of the blue. I used to find him doing little things around the house ( dishes, ironing) very sexy… Better than sex. As far as the breast feeding goes, try being with her when she does it during the day, perhaps you could burp the baby as soon as she finishes. Also your help with the other kids will be really appreciated. Don’t forget to keep telling her you love her. In regards to post natal depression, if it’s becoming a problem get help soon. Talk to your GP
Awww!!
Super cute!!
Risperidal killed my sex drive to the point that I switched to Abilify…much better now. Going through life with a hard-off can be a miserable journey. I’ve been there. I suggest you talk to your Doc about changing meds if your libido has gone to zilch.
Thank you. I tried abilify but it didn’t help my symptoms at all. I’ve asked my doc about changing to something else but I’ve been worried about switching to something and having it not work and ending up psychotic again. I can’t afford (financially or otherwise) to have another episode like my last one.
Everything went ok with me in charge of the baby all day, and I think it did everyone else some good to be able to go have some fun and not be tied to the baby’s schedule. And I think I showed my wife that I can be helpful with the baby if given the opportunity.
I’m glad you were able to help out more today. Back when my Geodon was way higher, my libido dropped to zero. I would make sure to give at least one blowjob a week, and if I couldn’t even do that, I would just snuggle him while he masturbated. It was a way to make sure my fiancé had at least some orgasms where I was present.
My doctor prescribed me Buspar, which is known for helping to combat the sexual side effects of certain APs. It didn’t work for me, but it might be worth looking into for you.
Granted, with a baby and older children around, maybe you don’t even have the time for those activities. Maybe just family snuggle time would help too.
Your posts are so obscene sometimes in regards to sex 
but not inappropriate
I’ve tried to be active in other ways, but it’s been hard for me, and she can tell it’s an effort on my part, which in turn takes her out of the moment. I think she wants to feel wanted more than anything. I’ve never heard that about buspar, and I’m currently on 30mg of it. I think I’m just gonna have to roll the dice and try a different AP.
People need to talk about these things sometimes. Orgasms are important!
Lol, we’ve talked, the trouble is we haven’t found a solution that works for the both of us yet.
I haven’t got any advice to i=give, I just wanted to say I hope things get better for you soon.
I’m sorry. It’s good that you are still trying though. Even normie couples go through rough patches, especially after a new baby is born. My friend and her husband are really struggling now, because he’s always at work and their second child is really straining their finances. She says she is married to a stranger right now. How old are your older kids?
11, 7, and 5. We had decided after our 5 year old was born that we were done, but he starts school this year and I think thinking about being home alone without any kids made her want another. And honestly I was psychotic when I agreed and we conceived the baby lol. How much I work is definitely another factor, as I work a rotating shift schedule with no days off, however prior to the Risperdal we managed to still have a pretty active sex life.
Risperidal killed it for me too. I switched to Geodon, and that has been wonderful for me. At a high enough dose, it still causes problems, but right now I’m on 60 mg and that is a good balance. Geodon starts at 20 for tiny folks and 40 for most adults. When I was on Risperidal, I was on 1 mg.
After going up to 30mg on abilify, i started Risperdal at 2 but right now I’m on 3.5mg. I’m just been reluctant to change because Risperdal has worked so well otherwise, with my only other side effect being some mild tiredness throughout the day. Doesn’t geodon need to be taken with meals, and twice a day? I would have trouble with that, as I only eat maybe once a day.
Geodon needs to be taken with at least 500 calories. I only take it once a day. I used to take it morning and night, but, like you, I had trouble eating that much twice a day.
I have found that I have about a four hour window to take it, between five and nine. Any earlier and I fall asleep too soon. Any later, and I don’t sleep that night. It takes about two or three hours before I can start to feel the effects of it.
When I first started, I had only been on Risperidone for about a month, and that was my first AP. I had no trouble transitioning from Risperidone to Geodon, but I was just coming out of a very dark psychotic state, so any improvement seemed like a miracle to me. One thing I like about Geodon is that it’s weight neutral. For me, it started working in about two weeks, but my doctor said that wasn’t typical.
Thank you, that is all useful information to know. I will have to bring it up at my next appointment. My doc is aware of the problem I have been having and knows I am thinking about switching, so she may have some ideas of her own as well.