The only thing horrible ive heard about butterflies is that the flapping of their wings can cause civilizations to collapse in chaos theory.
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Im finding it difficult thinking of a name…
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Im trying to recall what I discovered quite unwittingly. Totally surprised me but it was really disgusting. When it comes back to me I will let you know. Maybe its not as bad as I thought though. Ive heard of chaos theory… Cool concepts about metamorphosis though and relation to dreaming and memory and thoughts about reincarnation. Life is but a dream… eyes wide shut.
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All I can think of for some reason is wizard of oz… not sure why.
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think of something simple like Fuzzyhead or something lol,
I was having a nap today and had a couple of hypnogogic hallucinations which are perfectly normal but they were very detailed and i enjoy having them, i saw a large spider crawl up my wall beside my bed and wasnt even bothered, i had to check it wasnt real so kept an eye on it and it sort of faded away, few minute later i saw some weird insect thing on my pillow but it wasnt real, i thought it was pretty cool though
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I’ve had some pretty interesting hallucinations, seemed pretty magical. But terrifying other ones I can’t talk about. Glad your able to be calm like that with yours.
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these ones normal people get them its when we are sort of half asleep or something just woke up usually, very common, i haven’t had any visual hallucinations with my illness thank god
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I think moths are cool. I don’t tend to let them live in my apartment though because they eat clothes. 
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Yes I really can’t describe the level of torment and mental agony I went through. But I’m happy I can mention something about having had them now. Thats interesting you differentiate the two. I did read some papers on lucid dreaming by an academic twas interesting to read and know something about… and then led me to some papers written by Charles McCreery. Perception and hallucination. Dreams and psychosis.
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talking about dreams I had a really detailed dream about my ex gf this morning as well, she died a few years ago so its nice to see her pop up in my dreamworld, my dad popped up recently as well and that was nice to see him and he was still trying to teach me in my dream (i think they both were) from the other side.
sorry i think we are going off topic here lol, moths do eat clothes btw 
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I think the horrible part was butterflys eat each other after they mate. And eat their own vomit and spit. Something like that…
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About those kinds of dreams you mention. I’ve read a few parapsychology books. The consciouse universe written by Dean Radin is an intriguing one. There’s some things ive read before that read like premonitions in dreams of loved ones. One I read was particularly sad about a man who’s loved one seemed to communicate in his dream to him, she was saying goodbye I think. And he had a phone call then that she’d died the next day. I know they can be written off as coincidence or ‘synchronicities’ but they hold such power I think. And there’s so many reports of them. Offers some comfort it seems for some people. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Jungian psychoanalysis. Quite interesting how Jung talks about synchronicities. I mean he coined the term I think. But whats poignant for some isn’t for others. And each deals with grief in their own personal way. I still don’t know what to make of these ideas, in terms of how reality works. But it’s interesting to read about.
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One of the questions I have with books like this is with regards to anthropomorphism. In a way its like confirming ‘we’ humans have a special place in the universe… and it kind of feeds into religious egotisms. Maybe in particular Christianity. I say this in terms of there being a supposed hierarchy of human over other sentiences. I mention this because once when I was extremely close to committing suicide. I went for a long walk over the mountain and sat down in amongst loads of brambles and wild grasses. And I couldn’t stop crying. And this tiny miniscule cricket hopped onto my hand. It seemed in that moment I gained a huge relief as it seemed to hold meaning. Lol. And I was looking at this sudden creature that appeared and burst into laughter. Seemed to relieve me of the moment of intense crying and despair. I know its silly. But it kind of felt like it meant something.
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I think other natures can be quite healing of sorrows, shames and pains. Maybe why I’ve liked walking so much.
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I try and not delve too deep into it but my beliefs basically consume my whole life, most people don’t agree with my ideals and rely on populism but I try and stick with the truth which is a greater perspective than the average man, i have a lot of bad vibes directed at me and it can be even worse than having a stigma for a mental health problem,
My dreams do have meaning for me, my dreamworld is another plain for me like the spiritual, its ok to have beliefs and not go mad with them. my meds control a lot of my thoughts, its not nice not being able to control myself but i know who pu the pills in my hands so that gives me solace, only a healer can do that.
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