Just a breath away

Unusual Beliefs
1

I am very close to totally losing my sanity. I don’t know what keeps me in place except for the fact I don’t drink or smoke. Is anyone here like that? Can a person have the power to make you lose your ■■■■? I worry about that, truth seers.

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Are you feeling unwell? :face_holding_back_tears:

I also have similar thoughts sometimes… like literally feeling worthless and thinking why I have this illness.

But the strangest thing is… we need to have this hope.
During my worst times I literally was overthinking suicide but then I thought- why not to wait for several years or even more; maybe my life will be better then.

I believe even at the worst days we need this hope :slight_smile:

3

I put on YouTube videos about philosophers and I think I don’t understand anything. I’m reading a book by Clive Barker and I wonder if I understand what I’m reading?

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4

I also have these moments from time to time… when I feel like I don’t get anything.

Maybe you need a time to take a break from everything?

5

Okay, maybe it isn’t permanent.

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6

Please be careful with watching philosophy videos and exposing yourself to videos like that.

I am trying to climb out of 10 months of lost insight and grandiose religious delusions. I cannot expose myself to anything like that, its dangerous.

My pnurse just got very blunt with me yesterday about how psychotic I’ve been and how sick I am. She is insisting on weekly visits permanently, not alternating between weekly and biweekly like i have been doing. She says I’m too sick and she needs to actually see me and evaluate me every week.

PLEASE be careful not to go through what I am. I wish someone had warned me. Maybe they did and I just don’t remember it. I have had practically no insight.

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7

Thanks! It took a while to learn to not mention spirituality on here.

8

I used to get excited about motivational speakers but their influence doesn’t last either. Your inspiration has to come from your own heart, not someone else’s. If you don’t have the heart, just figure it’s a bad day and it will pass. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Sorry to hear you’re struggling @Jinx. Have you told your treatment team? The only person who has the power to make me sick these days is me, and it’s because I stop doing the things I know I need to that help me stay on the straight and narrow.

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