Schizophrenia.com

Jesters and comedy

All my life I was fascinated with
The trickster archetype. But the voices are now threatening me pretending to be just that. It makes me sad because I really love stories about it, and have a fascination with jesters. They tell me I can’t be this, and to their surprise I agree, but still enjoy it. I love comedic tropes. It was a part of me that I enjoyed thoroughly. I used to laugh so much but now it is gone. The voices trick me and give my fears a living. They tell me their the tricksters that are gods. They tell me lies. I just want to enjoy what I love. I need to go back to who I was. I need to express myself again. I’m afraid to go back to all my interests.

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I was really full of jest and wit before my illness hit. A lot of it remains though, in the rare positive moments I’m sharp and quick to joke around all things, including my struggles. It’s intimidating to think of going back to something one enjoys because, of course, they feed off draining joy from us and the things we love. I view my schizophrenia as similar to a Dementor, from the Harry Potter films. The voices and visions take the good and turn it bad, they suck the happiness from me and turn it into fear and despair. That being said, I recently started exercising again and I’m finding that although it’s hard to do the things I used to love so much, It is worthwhile because it can bring some joy to a day that would be bleak otherwise. I recommend you try, it might help and give you something positive to cling to :smile:

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Might be very expensive or far from you, but how about a fooling workshop or something like that? Some play acting can be really beautiful still… If you’re unwell at the moment, then you won’t have the greatest joy right now… I actually didn’t have a sense of humour for 15 years… In my general everyday conversation that’s part of that was seeking out abusive relationships I really believe it was more that than my schizophrenia
Finding someone to love me brought back my sense of humour
You sound very knowledgeable, I write for theatre…

Theater has many different types of comedies. I like to act a lot. But nothing makes me more happy then comedy.

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